


Stable Girl

by BrutallyRomantic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrutallyRomantic/pseuds/BrutallyRomantic
Summary: A young Regina might have fallen in love once, but the older she grows the more she sees that love only gives the universe the power to hurt you. When the universe takes on the task of giving Regina a second chance at the love that was stolen from her, will she take it? AU
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1+2

Emma tugged at the coat around her shoulders with a grunt, an attempt to pull it closer to her to keep out the cold. Despite its age, the leather had retained some of its reddish tint and worked quite well to keep out the harsh winter weather. Said weather had been particularly bad this year, making the chores Emma dealt with when tending to the horses even more of a trial.

As she tried to keep the large jacket on her back, Emma felt her thoughts fall to her father, tending to the swans as she once had while she was still a small girl in petticoats. Those had been easier days, better days, days before her mother had passed and her father had gotten so sick that she had had to begin taking on more of his work in the stables.

Those days were gone now though, leaving Emma shivering in her father's old jacket and trousers, and boots she had had to cobble herself when the medicine her father required had taken up the majority of their savings. Gone were the days when a fire was always blazing and Emma and her father could sit and enjoy the stories her mother so often would make up entirely on her own while cooking a solid meal.

  
Thinking of food made Emma cringe, her stomach squeezing painfully. The last week had been more difficult than ever, her father nearly bedridden each day after the relatively easy tasks of the swan tender had been completed. Due to this, Emma had done her best with what they had, trying to get her father to eat more than she. The man had been too far in his own haze to really notice, something that caused Emma more pain than hunger ever could.

  
It was fortunate that the family that Emma's parents worked for took little notice of the servants, or they might have realized that the stable boy that assisted the old caretaker, now usually doing everything, was actually the little girl that used to tend the swans, thick blonde hair hidden in a cloth hat to avoid attention.  
Now, tucking her hair under said hat, Emma whistled to the horses that she had never quite been comfortable around, keeping far back as they re-entered the stables peacefully. The cold did have some benefits.

  
SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

  
It had just been another dull day until Regina had eventually decided to go out, get some fresh air, and simply enjoy the evening at the setting of the sun. She ran through the fields covered in snow near the castle, took a deep breath and closed her eyes, to try and forget about what had been said at the table earlier. Her mother, like every day, would find at least one thing a day that she wasn't satisfied with, one thing about Regina that bothered her. But Regina was not an ungrateful child, and she would apologize and nod, even though she knew the next day it wouldn't get better. She had stopped trying to get her father involved either, she was used to her mother silencing him after he'd only try to object.

  
Today hadn't been different. Apparently one of the table spoons had been missing, and her mother had proceeded with, what Regina had already started calling her daily routine, where she'd pick out one of the servants, and punish them for their wrongdoing. While her mother was busy, her father would remain silent, or if her mother left the room, tell Regina that she hadn't always been like that. Regina wouldn't have known. Ever since she was a small child, her mother had told her to sit and stand straight, eat properly, and forbid her to make friends with any of the servants. Afterwards she'd tell her, "I only want what's best for you, my dear." and put on a sickening sweet, motherly smile. But even then, for years, Regina couldn't get herself to fully despise her, because well.. she was still her mother, and she believed her that a mother only wanted the best for her own child. Her mother had bought the prettiest dresses for her, gotten the best horses trained, and even if Regina thought that she overreacted a lot, she couldn't stay mad at her for long.

  
The fields and the stables were Regina's only escape, as she was rarely ever allowed to leave the land her parents owned, because according to her mother, she'd get stolen away, hurt or even killed by peasants. Regina herself did not understand why her mother had a bad attitude towards the servants, or the people working on her land; her father had once told her that her mother had been the daughter of a simple miller. Ever since then, Regina would question the choices her mother made, talk to the servants behind her back, and play with some of the children that worked on the land surrounding their castle. She didn't see a difference between herself and them, their parents and her parents, only that her mother was a lot stricter than any of theirs, and well, she had.. power.

  
As she got older though, her mother would keep her eyes glued on her daughter, just be around the corner as she'd start a conversation with one of the servants, correct her not once but twice, or three times a day, and leave her almost no free time.

  
Sighing, Regina let herself fall into the snow, and looked up into the sky. She didn't care about the cold, she'd even envy the birds for their freedom from time to time, and the only way to imitate them was for her to climb on a horse and let it gallop through the fields. The thought of riding a horse made her happy, and after lying there for a few minutes, she got up and ran to the stables - far away from the castle and her parents.

  
SGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSGSG

  
As she entered the stables, Regina breathed in the comforting smell of the horses, and walked straight into the direction of her favourite. Petting the proud mare, she leant her head against the animal and sighed. Regina didn't notice the stranger until she heard the short whistling sound coming from farther away, and curiously, she lurked around the corner of the stall, to see who was sneaking around the stables.

  
Whistling again sharply for the horses still loitering, Emma scratched just underneath the back of the hat. The thing might keep her warm and hidden as a girl, but it itched more than anything and frequently was a hot irritant during the summer months.

  
"Come on, you silly creatures!" Emma called out, finally bringing the last horse in while half hiding behind the door. Shutting the last stall, Emma found herself talking to the horses, as was her habit when preparing their dinner. She might be nervous around the great beasts, but she had no desire to be mean to them.

  
"Alright, let's see what's on the menu for tonight, yes?" Reaching into the enormous bag of feed, Emma snagged a bucket and started doling out the grain mixture to each feed box near the door of the stalls. "And let's not forget dessert!" Twirling back to near the bag, Emma pulled out bales of sweet hay and threw them into the large metal hay racks near the back of each stall. It was with a grin that she noted she was now able to hit every one. When she started helping her father out, her skinny arms could barely get the hay up, but by now she had toned her arms in order to work as well as she could and not draw negative attention. As far as their employers were concerned, it was still Emma's father that did the majority of the work.

  
Lurking around the corner, Regina was surprised to find someone she'd never seen before in the stables. Even curiouser, the person was doing stable work and fed the horses, all while talking to them in a cheerful voice. She doubted that the stranger had anything bad in mind though, since the figure seemed to almost dance through the stalls - it made it look like easy work, and Regina knew that it wasn't. The stranger must've been used to it.

  
Grinning to herself, she sneaked around the corner of the stall, entering the next one so she could see more clearly. After listening for some minutes, she was sure that she'd never heard the voice before. Who exactly was the stranger, and why was he doing the work instead of the man who usually worked here?

  
Regina was already excited to find out more about the person, liking the fact that they were talking to her favourite animals, just like she did sometimes. They always listened and responded with a wicker or nodding of their heads. It made her feel like she had at least some company when she felt lonely, since she wasn't allowed to talk to any of her servants - and her mother couldn't really forbid her to talk to horses.

  
Amused, she sat down in one corner of the stall, her back facing the small barrier in between the stables. If the stranger passed by the stall, she would be able to see them first. She whistled twice, loudly, and tried to suppress a giggle. Then, she listened closely, waiting for the reaction of the stranger.

  
The whistle had Emma on instant alert, hands frozen in place where they had gripped the sides of the hat. She had been about to tug off the cloth and let her hair fall free, a bit of freedom she allowed herself in the barn in the afternoons since there was usually no one there. But that was no bird whistling so Emma pulled the hat harder down around her ears and pulled up her coat tighter around her body, trying to look bulkier than she really was. Far off she might be able to fool someone into thinking she was a boy, but closer up, her strong jaw couldn't fool anyone for more than half a minute or so.

  
"Hello?" Thanking the gods that her voice sounded just a bit rougher due to the cold she had been fighting for the last week, Emma still made an effort to lower her voice. Yes, a boy her age might not have gotten his deep voice yet, but he still wouldn't sound as much like a girl as she did. Creeping along the center aisle in the barn, Emma kept a sharp eye out for whomever had entered her safe haven, heart pounding with fear as she considered what could happen were it someone from the home she served.

  
Grinning to herself, Regina peeked through a thin gap between the wood, still curious about the stranger she'd just encountered. What was he doing here? And why had she'd never seen him before?

  
It was also quite strange that the response to her whistles had sounded alarmed; was he afraid of something? All those questions were piling up in her head, and Regina wanted answers. But what if the stranger would simply run away the second she'd show herself?

  
Slowly backing away from the barrier, careful not to make too much sound while she was walking over the straw, Regina crouched down at the very end of the stall. Holding back another giggle, she tried to imitate a wicker, and waited for the reaction of the stranger.

  
The imitation was good, but Emma had been around horses enough to know what a real one sounded like. Besides that, she now could pin down where the sound was coming from and she knew for a fact that the stall was empty.

  
Emma's expression slid into one of determination, and she cared less now if the person realized she was a girl when she approached the edge of the stall, seeing as someone who was trying to mimic a horse probably wasn't supposed to be there anyway. Without any sort of weapon within reach, Emma tried to gather herself up to appear taller, needing the strong appearance as well as the courage to do what she was about to.

  
Rounding the corner, Emma made her voice firm to face whomever was intruding, shouting as she stomped with one worn boot. "Who are you!?"

  
Looking up to the person that had just entered the stall, Regina grinned. The stranger didn't even know who she was? This was getting more curious by the second. The man who was usually working here certainly knew who he was working for.

  
"I could ask you the same thing." Arching an eyebrow, Regina got up from the ground and put her hands on her hips. She obviously had more reason to be here than the stranger; the stables belonged to her family. "I've never seen you here before. How come you're doing the stable work?"

  
Eyeing the stranger suspiciously, Regina felt that something was off about his appearance. She couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was, but she could definitely tell that the person standing in front of her was a lot younger than the man who was supposed to work here.

  
At being faced with a girl likely no older than her, Emma froze, mouth open. There was no one this could be other than the daughter of the house, no one who would dress so finely. This was possibly the very worst situation Emma could have found herself in, short of turning herself in to the slightly sadistic lady of the house for doing what would normally be a young man's job.

  
"I-uh..my father was the stable hand. He has taken ill." Words are falling from Emma's lips quickly, but hopefully not so quickly that it makes her voice high enough to notice. Crossing her arms, Emma backed away and tried to half hide under the brim of her hat, "What can I help you with, miss?" The sooner she got the other girl out of the stables, the better.

  
What was the girl's name? She couldn't think, remembering only once or twice when the lady of the house had scolded the other girl in a high pitched voice for speaking to Emma while she tended the swans. Regina. She could remember the haughty tone the other woman had said the name in, remembering the fear she held inside when the lady's eyes had passed over her in a haze of..not hatred, maybe disgust? It wasn't something her small self could identify.

  
The stranger had seemed to recognize who Regina was, addressing her as 'miss', and slowly backing off. Regina's grin grew even wider as she noticed the sudden change of the person's body language, clearly retreating and acting more subservient than anything else. "Oh, so your father is ill and you didn't inform the family of the house about it?" Arching an eyebrow, she'd now crossed her arms in front of her.

  
She was going to play this game a little longer; because - when was she ever allowed to speak to someone else? When did she ever get the chance of interacting with someone closer to her own age?

  
Trying to hold back another giggle, she took one step into the stranger's direction. "I could easily tell my mother about this, you know." Examining the person's appearance further, Regina noticed that the clothes he was wearing were clearly too big for him. Why wasn't he wearing proper clothes? He could've easily slipped on the mud with the pants that didn't seem to fit him, and been trampled over by the horses.

  
Regina was actually genuinely sad and worried about the fact she'd just learned. She'd liked the man working at the stables. Who knew what her mother would do the stranger's father if she'd found out. "What's your name anyway? I didn't know your father had a son."

  
Emma's breath caught when Regina mentioned her mother, her rebellious brain instantly concocting all of the worst case scenarios. Thoughts of her father, sick in bed in the little hut near the gardener's shack, haunted Emma.

  
"E-Eric. I worked in the village, and when my father took ill, I returned to care for him." Yes, it was a blatant lie, but the truth was far more dangerous. Tugging the coat sleeves down over her long skinny fingers, Emma tried to square her shoulders and look taller. If Regina stepped forward and questioned her further, she wouldn't pass for a boy,

  
The precarious edge where she perched was making Emma dizzy. Shuffling to the side, away from Regina a bit, the blonde tried to make an excuse. "If you'll pardon me, I should be going, the hay needs to be bundled before I can go." True, but all the hay that was needed had been bundled. Emma just wanted something that sounded relatively boring to any normal girl in hopes that Regina would go away and not ruin the little life Emma was trying to hold together.  
"Ah, Eric. You should've informed someone about the situation." Regina said with her head held up high. She pushed further, but she wasn't going to be able to hold back her giggles for much longer. She also knew it wasn't nice of her to scare the boy; they all feared her mother, just like she did. She'd felt her wrath enough times, and she couldn't escape it either.

  
When the stranger mentioned that he was about to leave, Regina made a grimace. "No." She only realized that the word had escaped her mouth after it had happened, and she avoided the boy's eyes. "I mean.. you can't leave yet." Afraid of being left alone yet again, Regina bit her lip, and corrected, "You shouldn't leave yet."

  
It was obvious that her expression and body language had suddenly changed, and she shrugged. Even if he had to finish the stable work, she'd go with him. She loved to be around the horses, and maybe she could even help? She wasn't completely oblivious to how things worked, since she had watched the boy's father work here at least a few times.

  
"Maybe.. I could help?"

  
The offer to help surprised Emma more than anything, making her pause and consider. Letting Regina help would give the brunette plenty of opportunity to realize that 'Eric' was definitely not what he seemed. However, refusing might look even more suspicious.

  
Mentally cursing, Emma went for something better. "I..was going to polish the saddles as well. Perhaps you could help with that?" Not only would it mean that Emma could hide in the hay and keep Regina farther away on a work bench, but also Emma didn't think a small noble girl would be very helpful with physical labor anyway.

  
Curiosity settled in as her nerves began to calm, leaving Emma wanting to ask as to why Regina would be lurking about the stables. If Emma remembered correctly, Regina's mother wasn't the type to want her daughter anywhere near any servants.

  
Almost pouting, Regina expressed her disappointment. "But I thought.. maybe we could.. talk?" She couldn't have put it more awkwardly, but that was really all Regina had wanted. A simple conversation with someone, without her mother watching over her, or telling her to stop. "I.. how old are you anyway? Working the stables is hard, I know."

  
The clothes that didn't seem to fit the stranger were still bothering Regina, but there was something else. Eric seemed to hide underneath the hat, and she wondered why. Now that she'd found out who he was, and why he was working here, there was really no reason to be afraid. So why.. oh. "Hey Eric, I'm not going to tell anyone." The boy was probably afraid of what was about to happen after he'd leave the stables, or what Regina would tell her parents.  
Regina wasn't sure how to explain the situation she was in, had she never really talked to anyone about it. There was no one she felt close to, except for her horses. After acting all confident, she now felt a bit lost.

  
"I'm fourteen." The age when most girls were poking their fathers to find out their dowry and begging their mothers to put one more ruffle on their nice gown to catch the attention of a certain boy. Emma was anything but a normal girl and she knew this, but the thoughts of what should have been made her voice just slightly bitter.

  
Turning and walking towards the end of the barn where work was done, Emma gestured to Regina. She wanted to talk..that would be difficult. Maybe.. "Why were you hiding in here?" There, a question, good enough to stall a bit..hopefully.

  
Emma reached and fiddled with the hat as she walked, trying to adjust it without looking too obvious, or letting any of the long blonde locks tumble free.  
Smiling at the stranger now, Regina nodded. "I'm fourteen too!" Excited about her new discovery, Regina added, "We're the same age!" even though it was obvious. She never got the chance to talk to anyone her age. It wasn't going to take long until she was going to start feeling paranoid.. her mother would certainly look for her if she stayed away from home for too long.

  
Sighing, Regina turned to the boy, and simply answered his question. "I wasn't really.. hiding." She rolled her eyes. "I was trying to get some space. Usually, the stables are empty. Except for when your father works here, you know." Walking past the boy and out of the stall, she added, "I only hid in the stall to scare you." and giggled.

  
Still wondering why the boy seemed so intimidated, Regina gestured him to follow. Maybe he was really just afraid of her telling on him.

  
When Regina took the lead towards the work area, Emma accepted it, just relieved that the other girl wasn't looking as hard at her anymore. How much longer could she keep this up?

  
"To scare me? That's not very nice." Emma let the humour filter in her voice. Yes, Regina was a child, a privileged child, but so was Emma, and she was liking this chatting despite the air of danger. Regina was happy and accepting, but would she be the same if she knew Emma was not what she said? Would she go running to her mother if she knew that a girl was doing all the work in the stables and outwards?

  
Reaching up to the shelf where the polish is kept, Emma pushed up onto her toes, only just barely tall enough to reach the jar. Having such high shelves was often a pain, but it kept everything out of reach of the feed and such. Breathing out as she reached the polish, Emma took a look at Regina as she put the jar on the workbench and went to retrieve the saddle that needed a shine. The girl was growing, that much was obvious, but she seemed delicate in a way. Emma could only suppose that was how all noblegirls looked. If she weren't trying to pass for a boy at the moment, Emma might feel self conscious.

  
"How do you feel about fairytales?" Emma had started to think of the stories her mother would tell, and the few her father would while he worked and she helped. It was nostalgic and part of her couldn't resist sharing with Regina. After all, she rarely got to share with anyone who could actually speak back.


	2. Chapter 3+4

"How do you feel about fairytales?" Emma had started to think of the stories her mother would tell, and the few her father would while he worked and she helped. It was nostalgic and part of her couldn't resist sharing with Regina. After all, she rarely got to share with anyone who could actually speak back.

Grinning back at the boy, Regina shrugged. "Maybe I am not very nice." She was glad the conversation was going so well. The boy could've just ran out the stables, or maybe even attacked her. But he seemed calmer now, and she was happy that he didn't reject her offer to help.

Regina watched the stranger get the polish and one of the saddles, still wondering why he was wearing clothes that didn't really fit. It made the stranger look a bit awkward and clumsy, but the fact that it did amused Regina.

She almost didn't realize he was talking to her, lost in thoughts while she was staring at the boy. "Ah.. actually, I love fairytales." Eyes wide in excitement, Regina added, "Why do you ask? Do you know any?"

Walking over to help carry the saddle, Regina accidentally poked her elbow into Eric's side. "Oh, I'm sorry Eric. I didn't mean to." Blushing slightly, she put the saddle down on the workbench and avoided his eyes.

Emma jumped when Regina's elbow jabbed her ribs, half giggling as she was more ticklish than she used to be. She cut off the girlish noise quickly, clearing her throat and hoping her clothes were thick enough that Regina wouldn't realize it wasn't an adolescent boy's muscles she had bumped into.

"Fairytales, yeah, I was just remembering one my mother used to tell me about the swans when I was small. She said that they were the lost brothers of a princess, and she had to work very hard to save them.." Trailing off, Emma tried to remember more of the story, but she got distracted by thinking that Regina looked very much like a princess, all curls and colour and softness. Not at all like Emma's bland blonde hair that never seemed to do more than be not straight, or her washed out eyes that could never quite pick a colour. Shaking herself, she spoke again. "Sorry, I can't quite remember the rest, she used to tell me when I was upset about the swans pecking me.."

Silencing herself, Emma realized she might have just given away who she was without intending to. She spoke quickly to try and cover it up, grabbing two ragged polish cloths from the basket at the end of the work bench and reaching for the jar of polish. "Right, let's get this saddle looking good as new."

The giggle had surely sounded a bit off, and much too girly for a young boy Regina's age, but Regina didn't let the suspicion show. The voice of the boy had sounded a bit too high-pitched since the beginning.. but it might've just been the approaching voice break, right?

Listening to the boy's story, Regina couldn't help but smile. Swans had always, next to horses, been one of her favourite animals. Every time she'd sat down next to the river, she had kept an eye out for the beautiful animals, mostly ignoring the little ducks that were quacking away right in front of her.

Once she'd even met one of the servant's children there, and she'd watched her feed them.. up until her mother had appeared and screamed at her.

Sighing, she shook her head slightly. "No worries. I loved your story, even though it was short. Maybe we could.. try and come up with another ending if you don't remember the actual ending? I love coming up with stories." Smiling at the boy, Regina nodded as Eric started to clean the saddle. She extended her hand expectantly, waiting for him to give her one of the cloths.

Staring at the end of the boy's sleeves, Regina remembered the question she'd wanted to ask him ever since she'd noticed his awkward clothes. "Hey Eric, how come your clothes don't fit you? They're too big. You could easily slip on your pants' leg and end up in the dirt, or worse, under a horses' hoof."

Emma had begun to relax a bit when she wiped down the saddle to prepare it for polishing. Regina was nicer than she expected and having someone around was a novelty Emma was enjoying. She had even been thinking about maybe seeing Regina again if she snuck out of her house, but then her clothing was mentioned and Emma curled into herself, withdrawing her hands.

"Uh..they're hand me downs. My father is a bigger man." Truth. Emma found that if she stuck to the truth, mostly, it was easier to get out. Plucking at the ends of her sleeves, the blonde glanced up and debated on what to say next. Part of her really wanted to have a friend, even if for only just now, a friend who saw the real her, the other part told her that sharing would be suicide.

"I should go home soon." Surveying the lowering light outside of the barn, Emma thought again about the swan story. "Maybe we can finish the story next time?"

Regina felt stupid. Of course they were clothes from his father. People in town often didn't have as much money to pay for things, and it would make sense that he'd wear them to further disguise himself in the stables, in case someone saw him from farther away.  
She nodded, then sighed at Eric's next sentence. Regina had been afraid of Eric just leaving. If she'd let him go, who knew she'd see him again? Whatever the boy might say, there was no guarantee, and who would want to play or talk with a child that had a tyrant as their mother?

Regina had to ask. She really had no choice other than being completely honest with him. "Why.. Eric, you seem afraid. Why are you afraid of me? Is it because of my mother?" Looking down, Regina continued to rub the saddle with the cloth.

"No, I.." Emma looked down at the spot on the saddle she had been shining, wanting to tell Regina her true identity more than anything. When had been the last time she had a real conversation with someone that wasn't a horse or her father? But what would the noble do if she found out that not only was she fraternizing with a servant, but a lying female servant doing a man's job.

"Can you keep a secret?" Emma's voice was tight, nervous, but she was committed to this path. Regina's attitude so far had given Emma no reason to think she was anything like her mother, and having a girl friend was not something Emma ever expected. If she could get Regina, sweet and pretty, to be her friend, maybe some of that would rub off. She could only hope.

Regina had always loved secrets. Secrets were one of the only things that could still make her smile, because if she could keep something she wasn't supposed to do or even think from her mother, she could still enjoy life. But, right now Regina felt like she had to be worried. Another secret? After she'd just found out that the boy was working here instead of his father? Was there something worse going on?

"What is it?" Curious, Regina stopped polishing, and turned to Eric. The boy seemed tense. At least she'd find out what was obviously bothering him, or making him afraid. Maybe she could even cheer him up. Was this what friendship felt like? She was sure that this had been one of the longest conversations she'd ever had with a child her age, and they'd only talked for about 20 minutes.

This was fun.

It was the moment of truth, quite literally, and Emma could almost taste her own heart with how high up in her throat it was beating. Breathing deeply to try and bank the nausea now threatening her, Emma stood up and dropped her cloth. As she struggled for words, the blonde finally summed her courage and decided against speaking.

With one smooth move, Emma pulled off her cap, letting her blonde hair tumble past her shoulders and make it quite clear what her secret had been. Looking down and away from Regina, Emma couldn't think, couldn't do anything but hope Regina would be alright with this and that she would have a new friend.

If this went badly, it could end up somewhere much worse than on the street. This could end with her at the mercy of the lady of the house. That was almost as bad a prison. But the rumours were worse.

Eyes wide, Regina stared back at Eric, mouth opening in surprise. "I.. I know you!" was the only thing Regina could think of for the moment. Eric.. was a girl? Eric was the.. swan girl?

She had known something about the boy had been off, but even with the high-pitched giggle, she hadn't suspected that he'd been a girl. "I.. wow! And you're doing all this work?" Amazed by the secret, Regina couldn't even think straight. There were so many questions popping into her mind, and she had to take a moment and stare at the beautiful, long blonde hair of the girl right in front of her. "I love your hair!" she said excitedly, quickly adding, "For how long have you been doing your father's work? I.. wow, I can't even fathom this, this is amazing! You are amazing!"

A friend! She would be able to make friends with a girl her age! They could talk about all the things they both liked! And quite obviously, they both liked swans and horses. Regina wanted to know everything about the girl.

For a minute the excitement was even scarier than a negative response would have been, leaving Emma wishing she could just put the genie back in the bottle. Of course, not two seconds later, Regina's joy had rubbed off on the blonde as she nearly bounced where she stood. Emma drew her hair all over one shoulder and pulled at it as she watched Regina.

"You know this has to stay a secret, right? No one can know." Emma's voice had dropped a bit, nerves making her fidget more with her hair than what would be usual. She stressed the words /no one/ when she tried to pull a promise of silence from Regina. If /anyone/ else were to find out about this, Emma was sure that the lady of the house would find out, and then she couldn't imagine the horror that would come next.

"No one." Regina responded, shaking her head in excitement. This was the very first secret she had ever shared with a friend. It was their secret. "I promise, I won't tell anyone!" Grabbing Emma's hand out of excitement, Regina now nodded. "I promise. And I also promise to help you out around here whenever I can." Holding Emma's hand with both of hers, she smiled at her. Regina couldn't take her eyes off the girl's hair. "I really wish I had your hair. It's the most beautiful hair I've ever seen."

Regina was so enthusiastic it was endearing, and the smile spreading across Emma's face was almost painful in its sincerity. Along with the smile, the combination of unexpected handholding and compliments was inducing a heated pink blush to climb clear from Emma's collarbone to her hairline. She hadn't received this sort of attention in..well, ever.

Shaking her head in denial, Emma reached out one hand to capture a few of the other girl's dark locks. "I like yours much better. Mine is all washed out and weird, but yours is just perfect." Giving compliments seemed to Emma almost the same as receiving them, and so the blush only grew stronger, though she couldn't bring herself to give up any of the contact she had with Regina.

Giggling when Emma grabbed her hair and returned the compliment she'd just given her, Regina shook her head. "No way. Yours is like a beautiful long mane!" Smiling warmly at Emma, Regina continued before the girl could deny it, "Uh.. your name isn't really Eric, is it?"

"No! I'm..I'm Emma." She refused to remove her fingers from Regina's hair, unaccustomed to feeling something so soft. Her breathing was coming short, she assumed nerves. It had been awhile since anyone said her name, including herself.

This was exciting. Although some part of Regina knew that this couldn't last for long, since her controlling mother would get in the way again somehow.. she'd pushed those thoughts away. No. This time she would have a friend, for the very first time. Someone she could share secrets with. And she would be extra careful so her mother would never find out. She didn't even want to think of what she might do to the girl..

Trying to silence the worries in her head, Regina exclaimed, "I'm.. this is so exciting! I've never had a friend before!"

As moments passed, Emma felt the nerves only grow as thoughts of what the lady of the house would do to her if she was discovered tormented her. Fingers tightening in Regina's, the blonde nodded, choosing to enjoy these moments of camaraderie rather than sit in fear.

"I haven't had a friend in..god, I don't remember how long."

Pulling a grimace, Regina sighed. "My mother doesn't let me have friends. She says other children are a bad influence. Especially because they're.. she calls them peasants." Clearing her throat, she stepped away from Emma, and picked up the cloth to clean the saddle. "But your name.. Emma. That's a beautiful name." She nodded to herself, and gestured for Emma to come closer to her. "I.. now I have someone to talk to, and I don't even know what about." She giggled, "What do friends talk about, other than sharing secrets and.. helping each other do things?"

It was a naive, but genuine question. She'd spent most of her childhood alone, wishing that one day, her mother would allow and let her simply talk to someone else. But now.. she'd found someone herself, and she wouldn't let her mother take that from her.


	3. Chapter 5+6

  
When Regina pulled away, her hair slipped from Emma's fingers, a disappointment that the blonde didn't expect. Returning slowly back to the saddle, Emma continued to polish and listen.

"I don't really know. When I was younger, my father would tell me stories of when he was a soldier." Emma couldn't keep the smile from turning her lips up at the edges. "He was a good man, but he got old..he had to become the caretaker under this household when he could no longer fight. But he took care of us. Me." Talking about her mother wasn't really something that Emma liked to do.  
  
Even thinking about her was hard, more because she couldn't remember much than anything else.

Regina's eyes were focused on the saddle, and she was trying to do the best she could. She knew her mother wouldn't approve if any of the saddles weren't as clean and shiny as she'd want them to be.

Remaining silent, she listened to what Emma had to say until she came to a stop. Grinning at Emma, she responded, "Everything you're telling me sounds like a story. You know, like a fairytale. Either you're just good at telling stories or your life is a fairytale." In comparison to her life, which was boring. She was stuck in a castle, and terrorized by her mother. Sighing, she continued, "What about your mother?" and focused back on the saddle.

Emma was in slack jawed awe when Regina compared her life to a fairy tale. It wasn't a fairy tale in the slightest, not even a normal story. Emma had to work hard every day since she was very small, and even her good days were probably not anything as good as Regina's worst.

"You must be joking. My life is not a fairy tale at all." Emma's voice grew small when she let Regina know the truth, her weakness seeping through her tone. "I've worked in the stables for such a long time, and it was very hard. I've only just gotten good at it. I've never been to school, I only know how to read because my father insisted on teaching me. I am not ladylike or poised, and I don't even have a dowry because I had to use it to get the medicine my father needed." Emma did her level best to keep her face even as she spoke, but with each thing she admitted it was like her strength was seeping away.

"How am I to have a family someday when I cannot even associate with anyone that isn't a horse?" It had been a worry that Emma had been focusing on more and more as of late, her future and being a wife and mother. That brought her back to Regina's question about her mother, but she chose not to address it.

"I do not even know how to love." It was the most painful thing to admit, but Emma could not imagine the type of love it took to be devoted to someone.

"In any case, /your/ life is the fairytale, Regina. You're like a princess! Just look at yourself."

Almost giggling at Emma's objection and her comment about the princess' alleged perfect life, Regina shook her head. "You're mistaken. And really, you've heard the wrong kind of fairy tales if you think they only revolves around princesses. Most of the time it's the poorest of people that turn out to have a special talent, a special kind of skill, or learn to use magic - abilities common people do not have."

Sighing, Regina tilted her head slightly to the side and frowned. She certainly didn't overlook the fact that Emma didn't actually answer to her question. Had she simply forgotten about the question in the first place, or was the topic of her mother a soft spot for her? Trying to decide if she should ask again, Regina chewed on her bottom lip. All the questions Emma had just thrown at her kept her thinking. The girl had almost sounded desperate.. well, of course. She was doing the stable work instead of her father - and it was hard work; not at all suited for a young girl.

Regina chose to try and calm her down. "Don't worry. I think you learn to love someone passionately as you get older. I mean.. I'm not so sure myself, but.. from the stories I've heard.." Nodding at her, Regina smiled, and patted the shoulder of her new friend. "I will help you. I'll keep you company. You're my friend now.. and I think that's what friends do."

The physical contact alone would have shocked Emma, but in tandem with words of encouragement and companionship from this.. this lady, it was a little too much for the girl to handle. She could feel her face heating up and, without a thought, she flung her arms around the smaller girl, squeezing tightly for a brief moment before she pulled back and gave a nervous cough.

"Right, sorry, um.." Looking at Regina with a smile that almost hurt her cheeks, Emma gestured towards the brunette's tiny frame. "You're a little small for stable work, but I'd love it if you came here and again and talked to me."

Shyly, even though it was only in her mind, Emma thought maybe this girl might be the answer to learning to be a lady. She certainly would have learned all of the proper etiquette and other things required of a noble, so even half of that would be more than Emma was expected to know as a wife. The blonde kept this to herself however, not wanting to give Regina the impression that she only wanted her around for teaching purposes. The other girl was the first friend Emma had had..for longer than she could remember. There were the boys who helped run trade stalls in the village, but Emma had seen them less and less of them as her father got sicker. And she had never been very chummy with the other girls.

Regina was like a dream come true. A real lady wanting to be her friend. Emma pulled at her coat a little, tugging it closer as the barn grew cold. It was getting late and Emma thought of her father, he wouldn't be able to tend the fire alone, but she was reluctant to leave Regina, uncertain of when she would see the girl again.

Regina was surprised by the sudden embrace, eyes wide for a moment before the other girl pulled back quickly. When was the last time she'd received a hug, from anyone? She couldn't remember. This felt more comforting than anything she'd experienced before. Her father would only try and cheer her up with.. empty words and promises, and she couldn't remember the last time she'd received a compliment or even a tiny smile from her mother. Uncertain of what to say, Regina couldn't help but grin back at Emma, then shook her head when the other girl apologized. "Thank you."

The second the other girl commented on her height though, Regina arched an eyebrow, and crossed her arms. "Pff, too small? Please, I've never had any problems doing stable work if needed. Remember? It's the only time I get away from my.. my mother." Biting her lip, Regina suddenly threw a panicked look over her own shoulder. She'd forgotten about the time. How long had they been here for? Her mother would soon be searching for her, and she really didn't want her to discover Emma's secret. Regina didn't even want to think of the consequences.

Turning to Emma, Regina grabbed the other girl's arms. "Listen, Emma. I need to go. My mother doesn't let me off for long. She.. always keeps an eye on me, and only because she doesn't like the horses and knows that usually, no one's around here, she lets me go. But we've been here for a while and she.. checks on me."

Sheer panic clung to Emma's very bones at the thought of the lady of the house finding her here, doing her father's work. She had no doubt that she would be able to then find out if the rumours of cruelty and witchcraft were really true. Emma couldn't help but wonder how true they could really be though..for a woman with such a../perfect/ daughter. Even thinking of Regina made Emma shy and so she lifted the saddle off of the table to put it away and to hide her face.

"Come back whenever you like, but don't let anyone else find out." The thought of being found out was really clawing at Emma's heart, fear choking her and making her feel as if maybe this wasn't really worth it.. But as she stowed the saddle up on the stand and brushed her hands off, just looking at Regina made her feel warm inside, cozy in a way she hadn't realized she missed. She pulled her coat around her again, suddenly a bit ashamed of her rugged appearance and shabby clothes.

She was fooling herself if she thought she could ever be a proper lady. Looking at Regina though, the smile was automatic and easy, the way it used to be, she thought if she had any chance at all then it would be through this girl. Her friend.

"You should hurry off then for supper, I have to go back and take care of father." Even though her heart ached at the thought of Regina leaving, Emma felt lighter just thinking of when she would be back.

Regina nodded, but didn't let go of the other girl's arms. She thought for a moment after Emma had mentioned her father, then looked back her. "Your father. He needs help, right? Is there anything at all that I can do? Does he need.. some kind of medicine? Herbs?" Regina found herself worried for not only Emma, since the girl was doing all the hard work, but also for her father - what condition was he in? Was he going to die if he didn't get any help soon enough? For how long would Emma be able to keep this up? Who was going to look after /her/?

Biting her lip, she took a step forward and hugged her new friend to her. "Be safe. Do not work too much, or exhaust yourself. I will be here to help, whenever I can. We should agree on a time to meet, so we don't miss each other."

Regina was hoping that her mother would let her go more often, and she was already thinking of an excuse to go see the horses every day. But.. would it be too obvious? She certainly couldn't risk getting Emma into even more trouble.

"I will figure out a way to see you at least a few times a week, okay? I don't want my mother to become suspicious and find out about our little secret." Even though she was worried, she couldn't suppress a little giggle when she mentioned the word secret. She had a friend, someone to share a secret with - and as dangerous as it was, the situation she found herself in was also exciting.

Even though Regina was the same age and seemed to have some life experience, Emma couldn't help but think that she also seemed terribly naive. She was soft, a real lady, and the blonde didn't have the heart to tell her that there was nothing to be done for her father. The disease he had could not be cured by any herb, at least not anymore. Perhaps if he had gotten proper medicine earlier.. but no. It wasn't something Emma liked to think about, all she could do now was make the man comfortable.

Moving on to other thoughts, Emma was cut off by Regina's hug and returned it happily. She was already becoming addicted to the physical contact, the way Regina melted against her and blended with her in all the right ways. The only one she hugged anymore was her father, and he was almost too weak to hug back.

Pulling away from the brunette with a smile that was only half fakery, Emma thought aloud, "Maybe you could tell her you'd like riding lessons?" The horses might scare Emma but she was a decent rider. It wasn't her favourite thing in the world to do, but she could do it. And if it meant spending time with Regina.. she could certainly get used to that.

Nodding at the other girl, Regina smiled. "That's what I thought about too, you know. But I don't want her to get suspicious, or check on me around here more regularly. That would ruin the whole plan." Then she thought for a moment. Maybe she could suggest something for her mother to do, while she was out for the riding lessons, or offer to spend more time with her.. even if the thought made her pull a grimace. She was going to do this for Emma. To help. To have a friend.

"I will come up with something, I promise." Maybe if she told her mother that she wanted to become the best equestrian in the kingdom, her mother would let her. It was always about being better than others, and she had realized during the past years, whenever she would talk to her mother about pushing herself to become better, her mother would look at her with a grin and call her a good girl. That kind of grin that would terrify other people; the servants, even her father. Regina had gotten used to it, and quite good at manipulating her mother a little bit when it came to scenarios like that. She had to be careful not to overdo it though, or her mother would get suspicious.

"I think I have an idea. I'll tell you tomorrow if it worked, alright?" She reached out and squeezed Emma's hands, then let go and turned around. "Get some rest, Emma."

Emma fled fairly quickly when the other girl released her, almost running the two miles to the caretaker's hut where she found the fire nearly dead. Her father was asleep and only taking shallow breaths, the thin soup Emma had left for him sat untouched.

Sighing with worry, the girl pulled the covers back up over the shivering man and stoked the fire back to a nearly roaring blaze. This was how it had been for the last week. The man was hardly conscious, reaching the end of the plague cycle. Emma had been throwing herself into work lately if only to escape the terrible reality that she soon would be an orphan.

Unable to wake the man anymore, Emma merely took a cloth and washed his face and hands before tucking him back up into the bed with a grim expression. She wouldn't cry. She hadn't cried since the death of her mother, she refused to cry now.

Curling up on the thin rug in front of the fireplace, Emma took off her father's old jacket and bundled it up to use as a makeshift pillow. She would dream of brunette ringlets and princess dresses tonight.

SGSGSGSGSGSGSG

Regina had fed the story of becoming the best equestrian in the kingdom to her mother successfully, even if the older woman had pulled a grimace for a moment. Of course she would, and Regina had expected it, because she knew her mother didn't like horses much. But the second Regina had mentioned that she wanted to become the best at riding, and better than anyone else, she'd seen her mother smirk. At that point she knew she'd done it. Her mother had let her go, and with a big grin on her face, Regina had stormed out of the castle.

Regina had never in her life expected to like something - or in this case - someone more than her horses, and the freedom that came with them. But she'd found a friend in the little girl that worked at the stables, and all she wanted to do was talk and play with her, as long as she could. Even if the time was limited, they could meet every day now that Regina had an excuse for staying away longer.

"Emma! Emma! I'm here!" Regina yelled after she'd opened the door to the stables. Was she early? She wanted to share the news with her friend immediately, and now that she'd thought about it, maybe they could even go riding together. If they decided to ride over the meadows behind the hill and near the forest, they could always hide before someone would actually see them; including her mother. That was, if she didn't appear right in front of them.. but at the moment, there was no reason for her to follow Regina around - she knew where Regina was, and what she was doing. Well, what she was supposed to be doing.

Emma had been up half the night with her father when the coughing fits had started. That was always a sign of the beginning of the end and it made her ache to see the dingy white handkerchief clutched in the man's palm turn slowly red with spotted blood.  
As a result, Emma was dragging in the morning as she released the horses into the pastures and began to muck out the stalls. She had half fallen asleep leaning on the rake when the yell rang out clear and pure. For a half second she panicked when she heard her name, only to breathe a sigh of relief when she recognized Regina's voice.

"Over here!" Emma called out from the third stall in, pausing in her work to let the girl dash over. She sounded fairly ecstatic, so Emma could only assume that the lady of the house had assented to their plan. Despite how happy she should be, Emma just felt tired. But Regina wasn't ready for such cruelties of the world. She would put on a happy face, though it wasn't hard when the brunette's face lit up her world.

"Hey Emma!" As soon as she could make out where the other girl was standing, she ran over to her and gave her a warm hug. "My mother believed me! The only thing we need to worry about now is me actually getting better at riding, or she will get suspicious." She giggled for a moment, but after embracing Emma and looking at her face, her smile faded. "Are you okay? You don't look well."

Of course, the other girl hadn't looked her best yesterday either, the stable work was exhausting, but today.. she looked even worse. Tired, with dark circles under her eyes. Regina's mood dropped immediately - she was worried for her new friend. Had something happened? The first thing that came to her mind was her father. Was he feeling worse? Didn't they have enough to eat?  
Regina almost felt bad for feeling happy, had she not considered how the other girl was feeling, or how she would manage continuing to work the stables on her own. "I.. I told you, I'm going to help! You don't have to do all the work on your own, I promised!"

It was entirely Regina's energy that gave Emma the boost she needed to pretend she was okay. Pasting a brighter smile on her face, the blonde straightened up to do her very best to convince the other girl that she was as well as she could be.

"I don't think you want to help with mucking stables." Emma actually released a genuine chuckle when thinking of Regina tromping through the dirty hay to clean out the horse dung, it just didn't fit. "Why don't you go get one of the leather halters from the storage room and we'll rub it warm before putting it on one of the mares."

Emma had already been considering which horse to teach Regina on and decided on using two of the older mares. They would be easier to learn on and not near as easy to spook. Neither Emma nor Regina would have to worry about either horse bucking them or going off the path.

"Of course I do. I've done it before!" Once. She had done it once. Years ago. Pouting at Emma, the other girl wasn't so sure if she could believe her smile. Something was going on, and she was going to find out why. But right now, she would act like she hadn't noticed anything. She really didn't want to scare the other girl off, or make her uncomfortable.

Sighing at the other girl's request, she whispered, "Fine." and put the rake back where she'd found it. Did Emma think she couldn't do the stable work? "I'm going to show you. I've been to the stables enough times to know what must be done. Don't underestimate me!"

Running over to the storage rooms, Regina picked up one of the leather halters, then turned around quickly. But she stopped right at the entrance. "One?" she said to herself, then went back to pick up another one.

She returned to Emma, who was still mucking out the stables, and grinned. "I got us two of them. You're riding with me, aren't you?"

Emma had dearly hoped that Regina wouldn't catch on that she only wanted to walk along today, being so tired could be dangerous on a horse, but she merely nodded. Arguing with Regina wouldn't be good for their friendship, right?

As she finished cleaning the stall, Emma warmed up a little and worked on waking herself to be alert enough to really teach.  
When she completed the job, she joined Regina where she stood and took one of the halters and grabbed a cloth from the wall where they hung.

"Alright, so you just start rubbing the leather to loosen and warm it up, okay? We wouldn't like cold things on our faces, so I don't think they would either."

It was more of a stalling technique and a sort of quirk Emma had picked up when trying to stall learning to ride herself, but the horses always seemed a little easier to harness when she did this first, so the habit has stuck.  
"What do you know about riding?"


	4. Chapter 7+8

Regina nodded in excitement, since she'd never done what Emma was asking of her right now. She walked over to one of the tables where they'd cleaned the saddles yesterday, put both halters on it, and started rubbing them between her hands to warm them up. "Cold halters are not okay. Understood." The next question was not easy to answer, and Regina could feel her face warm up. "I.. I'm not completely clueless. I know how to control a horse. I use my legs.. and I talk to them." She was convinced her response had been a good one, and she smiled.

While she was preparing the halters, Regina turned around to look at Emma. She still didn't look happy, nor excited about the fact that she was going to teach Regina about riding. Had she done or said something wrong? The smile she'd received earlier had felt kind of weak, and Regina was really starting to worry. But how could she approach Emma? She'd never learned how to handle a situation like this.

"Hey Emma? You like me, right?"

She wasn't aware that she'd sounded a bit awkward, but she was only trying to be a good friend. It had only been a day, and she didn't want to lose Emma. She was going to try and do everything right.

Regina's gentle soul seemed to bring life to Emma's, the innocent way she conducted herself was a balm on a wound that Emma hadn't realized was there. It was beautiful and the blonde didn't feel she deserved it, though pushing Regina away was the farthest thing from her mind. She wasn't sure how she would survive something so lifegiving suddenly disappearing, even though it had only been two days.

"What?" It was a startling question, so blunt in its naivety and Emma knew she would have to get used to this quickly. As much as the answer was obvious to her, Emma didn't know how to approach it for several long seconds before deciding on giving Regina exactly what she seemed to give so easily, outright and pure truth.

"I had forgotten a long time ago what it was like to really like someone, and I like you even more than that." Emma couldn't be sure why she felt the heat creeping up into her face, it was the truth, but she pressed on in spite of it. "You make my life really nice and it's only been two days, I don't ever want you to go away."

She couldn't squeeze out any more words with how her throat was closing up, so Emma returned her eyes and full attention to rubbing the halter vigorously between her fingers, afraid that somehow she might have scared the little girl off.

Regina hadn't expected an answer like that. Emma's response felt heavier and more serious than she'd even meant the question. She had only wanted to know if something about herself had bothered Emma, and now.. she wasn't sure how to respond to something that had almost felt like a confession to her.

But with that, she also knew that it wasn't anything concerning herself. Something else was wrong. Something else was troubling Emma, and she just had to ask.

"I.. uh, thank you. I've never had a real friend before, and it feels so wonderful to talk and play with you. But tell me, is something bothering you? I was asking because.. you seem a little off today. Did something happen?"

They were friends. Friends should trust each other, and even though Regina didn't want to make Emma uncomfortable, or push her.. she had to know what was going on. She wanted to make Emma smile. And not only see the weak smile on her face that would fade immediately when Regina turned around. She wanted a genuine smile. She wanted her to be happy.

"Whatever it is, I promise, I'll try to help or make it better. I will help you with all the work! Next time let me muck out the stables! I want you to take a break. You know what? You sit down right now, and I'll do everything for you today."

She spoke so quickly because she was nervous, and not really sure what she was supposed to say. Then, with a determined look on her face, she nodded at Emma and held up the halter she had in hand.

It was such a rare experience, this care that was heaped upon Emma as if it were something so easy to give. No one had taken care of her since her mother died when she was small, not really. The blonde's throat ached with how she was trying to hold back the tears with each word that fell from Regina's lips.

Emma wasn't good enough for this type of purity, this sort of light. She didn't deserve anything from the little brunette and now she was even offering to do her work. Her sore body begged her to accept, her fragile soul threatening to break. She wanted more than anything to give in to Regina's care and attention and bask in the beauty that she was sure she would lose.

Nothing good ever lasted.

These thoughts had the tears slipping from Emma's eyes and dripping down her cheeks against her will. She still hadn't looked up at Regina and now she couldn't, speaking in a low voice that couldn't do much more than almost stay steady.

"I'm just tired. I'll be okay. Really. I..I can't let you do that work, you'll mess up your clothes and. and.. you're a lady."

Regina giggled at the response of her friend, and as she shook her head she began to respond, "It doesn't matter if I'm a lady, I can do.." but she stopped the moment she realized that Emma had started crying. Dropping the halter onto the table, Regina walked over to her friend and pulled her into a hug. Words weren't needed right now, Regina just wanted to show Emma that she would be there for her. All that mattered was the hug. She wanted to comfort her and make it okay. Forever.

As the minutes went by, Regina pulled Emma closer to her. She didn't want to let go. It was a new feeling, something completely strange and out of this world. Being close to Emma felt warm and safe, and like she could forget about anything else in the world.

"Emma, I'm here for you. Whatever it is you're sad about, I promise I will be here. I will always try and help you. You're my friend."

She wasn't sure if those were the right words, and if they would help make Emma less sad, but she had to say something after a while. Regina wasn't going to ask her yet though. If Emma wasn't comfortable with talking, she was going to accept it.

The important thing was that she could be there for her.

The minute amount of control that Emma had been maintaining crumbled the moment Regina pulled her close, opening the floodgates for her tears. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried like this and now she was even in front of somebody.

Emma felt weak and terrible and stupid, but more than any of that she felt safe. The brunette was a little shorter and yet somehow she managed to envelope Emma in her arms like magic, holding her in a way that she prayed would never end.

Tears of exhaustion turned sorrow flowed readily as Emma lifted her arms and squeezed Regina, pulling her as close as physically possible. Never had she had someone care enough without reservation that wasn't a parent and now she knew she couldn't let her go.

After all, it would probably be no more than a week before Emma would be alone in the world. She would need Regina more than ever.

"Regina.. my papa is going to be gone soon." The words were muffled where Emma nearly mouthed them into the smaller girl's neck, but they were clear. Her voice broke a little as she finally admitted this out loud.

Regina had listened to Emma crying for a while now, and she hoped that hugging her was helping at least a bit. But the other girl didn't let go, and that had to mean that she was doing at least _something_ right.

When Emma whispered into her ear though, Regina didn't know what to do. How to respond. She didn't know what people said in moments like this. She had no clue how to comfort someone who would lose someone they loved to death. She doubted that _any_ words could make Emma feel better.

Feeling sad as well as desperate for her friend, all Regina could do was pull her even closer. She wanted to be there for Emma, even if she didn't know how to. Biting her lip, Regina tried not to cry, but it was too late. The tears were there and they were rolling over her cheeks. As slowly as she could, she took a deep breath.

"Emma.. I.. I'm going to try and.. I love you."

She couldn't form a proper sentence, and she only hoped that Emma would understand. Regina was trying to express how important her friend was to her, and that she was going to be there for her no matter what.

Emma tore away from Regina's arms in shock, jaw agape as she processed the impossible words. Love..love? That couldn't be right, couldn't be true. No. It was a trick of sound, Emma couldn't have heard right.

"You..what?" Even in her disbelief, the blonde sounded hopeful, daring to think that maybe Regina meant it. Her heart beat hard against the inside of her ribs.

Smiling at Emma when she pulled away, Regina was oblivious to what had seemed to shock the other girl. She was just happy to hear her say something, and repeated her words all innocently, "I love you and I'm going to be here for you forever." She took the look on Emma's face as a sign of confusion, maybe she hadn't heard what she'd said, maybe Regina had muffled it into her shoulder.

"I.. honestly, I'm not sure what to say. I'm not going to pretend everything's going to be alright. It's awful to lose someone you love, I don't even want to think about losing my father.. or my mother." Even though she didn't agree with her mother a lot, she was still.. well, her mother. Of course she'd thought about only living with her father, but.. she wasn't going to mention that in front of her friend who was about to lose the only parent she had.

"But what I'm trying to say is.. I'm here for you, Emma. Even if I don't mean close to what your dad means to you."

If only there was something Regina could do. Sometimes, she secretly wished she could do magic like her mother, and use it to do good.

Love so freely offered, and by someone so innately good, was not a reality in Emma's world. She was loved by her father, she was casual acquaintances with the boys in the village if only to hopefully make herself appear like enough of a lady to be worth courting when the time came oh so soon, but this sort of friendship.. This was an experience that Emma didn't even know existed and it was overwhelming.

"You mean it?" The blonde's voice was a whisper, as if speaking too loud would chase away Regina's confession. "Y-you love me? But..but you hardly know me." The last thing she wanted to do was convince Regina that love was impossible, but it was natural to be scared after such an easy confession of something that seemed so hard, so scarce in Emma's world.

"Of course I mean it! You're my friend!"

With a big smile on her face, Regina nodded at Emma and pulled the other girl's hand into hers. She had always wanted to share happiness and fun with someone else. And being happy together meant that people loved each other, right?

"And we have all the time in the world to get to know each other more, Emma. We're friends now and we'll be able to see each other almost every day, isn't that great?"

Regina had decided on distracting the other girl, and really, right now, she didn't have any difficulties with that, because she was genuinely happy to be around making Emma happy meant that she had to be around her more, Regina would take it. She didn't like to see her friend sad, but she was also happy that the girl seemed to open up a bit, even though they - like Emma said - barely knew each other.

However, Regina had felt a connection to Emma the first day they'd met, and she would do anything to make her new friend feel better.

"I want you to be happy, Emma."

The sweet honesty in Regina's words and manner still seemed surreal to Emma. Companionship was a rare concept and the blonde was still trying to figure out exactly how it all would work. Yes, she could give Regina riding lessons, but what if somebody saw and discovered her secret? She would be punished, most likely by Regina's mother.

Even thinking about the woman made Emma's skin crawl. The sort of terror that she associated with the woman was certainly common among the servants.

The moment that Regina confessed that she wanted Emma to be happy, the blonde pounced on it and asked the question that had started burning in her thoughts.

"I'm teaching you to ride,..so do you think.. do you think you could teach me to be a lady?" To anyone else, the request would have seemed like a servant trying to raise her social status in some way, but for Emma it was about survival. Without a husband, she would be looked down upon and sufficiently end her family line.

Emma could feel the blood rushing to her face, colouring it a pinkish blush. What if Regina laughed at her? Squeezing the hand that held Regina's, Emma hoped against hope that the pretty brunette would agree.

Emma's request made Regina smile even brighter - as long as she could do something to make her friend feel better, she would, and since her mother had tormented her with all kinds of rules of how to be a lady, it was one thing Regina _could_ teach Emma. It made her feel less useless already.

"Of course I can. It's one thing I know at least _something_ about." It felt a little bit strange to Regina though; she'd tried to get away from the life her mother had wanted to force her into for a while now; and that had included acting like a lady. Her mother had been strict with her, and Regina knew exactly how she was supposed to behave, but to her all of it felt _too strict_. It was one of the reasons she came out here. For freedom.

Still, even if it didn't feel important to her, it seemed to be important to Emma. Or at least the other girl was curious about it. "You know, my mother would prefer to see me ride side saddle, but I explained to her that I want to actually have some skill in riding fast, or jumping over things." Giggling, she added, "Acting and looking like a lady even on a horse. Maybe we should train that, too, if only to appease her."

Regina felt better now that she'd distracted the other girl from what _was_ going to happen to her father. The world was cruel, she knew. But as long as there was something to enjoy in life, they could get through. Being around Emma made her happier, and she felt excited every time she thought about her - it was a completely new and strange feeling. It made Regina want to protect the other girl as much as she could.

Emma was elated. If someone had told her just a few months ago that she would have the daughter of the Lady of the house as a friend, she would have assumed the plague was rotting away their brains.

Suddenly Emma was stricken by the funny image of Regina riding side saddle. She never really understood the appeal despite how popular it was among the ladies. However, Emma supposed that Regina was a lady and therefore learning to ride in a dignified manner was no doubt very important.

On the other hand, Regina should know how to ride in more ways than one. If she ever needed to ride for a long amount of time, side saddle wouldn't cut it.

Emma pushed her father from her thoughts for a minute so that she could focus solely on Regina. There would be time for tears later.

"That sounds like a good idea. We need to rub down the english style saddles first though, both on top and underneath, that way the horses remain as comfortable as they can be."

Emma turned to pull down two english riding saddles then reached up for two cloths to wipe down the saddles of dust and other debris.

Everything felt surreal, dreamlike. Though, Emma thought, if this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up.


	5. Chapter 9+10

_Everything felt surreal, dreamlike. Though, Emma thought, if this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up._

Regina sighed, and pulled a grimace. "Rubbing down saddles all day. I want to ride!" Surprised by her own words, she covered her mouth with one hand. That had definitely sounded conceited. "Sorry, I.. I didn't mean that. I'm just.. a bit impatient sometimes." Embarrassed, she looked away from Emma.

The horses had to be comfortable, of course, that was the most important thing. But then again.. "Emma, I've seen people ride without a saddle! Can we try that too, some time?" She was excited now, and there was no stopping her. Regina wanted to be on horseback _now_ , and ride through the fields.

She was daydreaming now, about riding, and flying..being free, but when she looked back at Emma, she got pulled back into reality. It wasn't fair. It was as if two dreams were coming true for herself, and Emma was stuck in a nightmare. Regina had a friend for the very first time in her life, and she was going to learn how to ride properly - and Emma? She was about to lose her father; and then she would have to continue working in the stables.

Biting her lip, Regina reached out and pulled Emma to her. "Life isn't fair. I want to share my happiness with you. So if there's anything I can do to make you happy, please tell me."

Emma was silent for a moment as she started wiping down one saddle. It appeared that Regina was still a noble inside. The blonde wasn't going to hold a grudge against her by any means, Regina just didn't know any better.

"Wiping down the saddles is an important step. That's when you check for twigs, burrs and anything else that could have gotten stuck under the saddle. Think of it like this. Would you want to walk around with something sharp in your shoe all the time?"

Continuing without waiting for a response, Emma was once again drawn in by Regina's eagerness.

"How about we try that after you get the hang of trotting, cantering and running on a horse? Bareback /is/ fairly fun, but it's also harder because you won't have stirrups."

Regina shook her head in embarrassment at Emma's question, then sighed when the other girl told her that bareback riding was even harder than normal riding. "But it looks so natural, I've seen it. I want to feel connected to the horses. They're my favourite animals." With a small grin on her face now, she began to help Emma rub down the saddles.

Even though Regina knew she was of higher class than Emma, she felt like the other girl could teach her so much more than she herself knew. Sometimes she'd felt like a bird in a birdcage, locked away, unable to learn anything about the world outside. The thought of that made her not only sad, but angry - mostly at her mother.

"You're so clever, Emma. I don't know much about the world. Sometimes it feels like I know nothing, because I'm never allowed to go out and experience life away from our grounds." Trying to clean the saddle as perfectly as possible, she added, "When we're older, I want to ride out and have adventures with you. Wouldn't that be great?"

How could Emma say no? There was something about Regina that drew her in and made her want to keep the brunette happy. Emma is already smiling when she nods her assent. "It's a deal. You can be the fair maiden and I'll be her majesty's royal guard!" Emma had often imagined herself as a proper lady with dresses and a house and a family, but then there was Regina. The blonde couldn't be sure when it happened or how it had happened so swiftly, but now she imagined herself a lady knight bravely defending a Regina captured by a dragon or some other form of vicious beast.

"Don't you worry, we have all the time in the world to have adventures and I promise, we'll make them some really good ones!" The worry that was an almost constant curdling sensation in her stomach had calmed noticeably in Regina's presence the last couple of days. She never wanted to let that go.

Finishing wiping down her saddle, Emma reached up and twisted her hair up on top of her head and tucked it all under her hat. "I'm going to go get the mares we'll be riding, alright? Just finish that up and we can go ride in the pasture so I can show you how to do some simple things like trotting, galloping and cantering."

Stepping out from the stall where they bathed and groomed the horses, Emma left Regina to finish with the saddle and led her favourite grey and black quarter horse from her stall then slipped the harness onto the pretty mare. Once she had her horse saddled and ready, Emma turned to help Regina saddle hers. The mare that Emma had chosen to teach Regina on was a little older than average riding horses, and well mannered.

Regina giggled at the way Emma had just called her the _majesty's royal guard_ , and it made her happy that she was agreeing to everything she'd suggested. She was sure that her new friend would be the best teacher. "How do you know all this? Did your father teach you?"

Regina wanted to curse herself the second she'd mentioned Emma's father. Why did she have to be so damn curious all the time? Shaking her head quickly, she looked down at the saddle and started rubbing furiously, if only to let out the anger at herself. Now Emma would be reminded, and all sad again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.." She was awful at this. Awful at conversing and being a friend.

If only her mother had allowed her to have a friend before Emma, at least she would know how to act her best. And she wanted to be her best in front of her new friend. She wanted not only to share every single one of her secrets with Emma, she also just wanted to.. talk to her whenever she could. She wanted to stare at her and her beautiful blonde hair all day, and when Emma hid it under her hat she almost felt a bit disappointed.

Of course she'd pictured Emma in shining armour the moment she'd called herself the royal guard, and somehow, Regina liked the idea of that. "You know, you're more of a lady than I am. You always seem to know what exactly to say or do."

Though Emma had slowed, a little stunned, at the mention of her father, she put forth an effort not to let the conflict inside show on her face. "Yeah..he taught me when I was small." Shaking her head and waving a hand in Regina's direction as if brushing off the apology, Emma forced her smile back and led the chestnut mare towards the girl.

"This is Lily. She's really sweet, I'm sure you'll do well together." Regina's last comment actually pulled a real laugh from the blonde. Emma? A lady? Hardly.

"I'm just good at keeping my head down. You learn not to get noticed when you're doing work not meant for a girl. If I was caught doing my father's work, we'd both be flogged." The thought had terrified Emma when she first started covering for her father, the man wouldn't survive a flogging. But now, Emma was comfortable with her daily routine and confident enough that she could pass for an adolescent boy.

Regina was relieved that Emma had more or less ignored what she'd said, since she didn't go further into detail. One day she would be able to ask her more about her past, but now was not the time. She was afraid of making her cry again, and that was the last thing Regina wanted.

"I know most of the horses' names!" she exclaimed, excited, when Emma mentioned the name of the mare. Smiling again, she nodded at the horse, and walked over to Emma.

"No, really, I mean it. You know what to say and how to behave. I bet you'd even be a better _lady_ than me. It's more to do with attitude than anything else, trust me." Putting her hand on the horses' nose, she looked up and into Lily's eyes. Big, beautiful eyes. Regina decided to lean against the mare a bit, then continued, "Flogged? I'm sure my mother could think of worse things. She can do magic, Emma." Pausing, Regina closed her eyes and listened to the mare breathing slowly. "But I'm not afraid. I'm going to keep you my secret. She will never know, I promise."

With every moment that passed, it was ever clearer to Emma that Regina was certainly naïve. Any girl who had seen more of the world would have looked down on Emma. Even the girls in town who were only marginally better off than Emma would look down their noses at her when she was in the market. The expressions they wore looked as if they had smelled something bad and Emma had learned to keep her head down and trade for what she needed before almost jogging the mile back to town.

But even though she knew that Regina was certainly wrong, Emma couldn't help the pleased smile from curling the corners of her mouth upwards at the compliment.

That pleasure was banished faster than Emma thought possible when Regina's words sunk in. Magic.

"Magic? Wha…but.. That's.." The blonde couldn't find any words to articulate her terror as it had gripped her heart and left her tongue feeling heavy and useless in her mouth. She didn't need words to convey her fear however, the rapid breathing and wide eyes doing plenty to reveal what she held inside.

Ever since she was small, Regina had known that her mother could do magic. She'd grown up with it, and to her it was - yes, scary sometimes - but also normal. Seeing the reaction on Emma's face, she bit her lip.

"No need to worry. At least, not now." Regina was aware that there'd been rumours, some servants had of course, seen what Cora could do, and they'd carried the secret into the village. The day her mother had found out, she'd heard screams out of some of the rooms in the castle, and then never seen the servants again.

Sighing, Regina stroked the mare's nose. "My mother has done awful things, she's a strict woman, but she's also taught me to be a lady. She always only wants my best, Emma." Sometimes, she wasn't even sure what _the best_ meant, but Cora was still her mother. Turning to Emma, Regina shrugged. "What do you think about magic, Emma? Have you ever seen someone who could do magic?" Then paused and quickly added, "It can be beautiful, really." She didn't want to scare Emma off.

As long as she was behaving accordingly, and wouldn't be outside for too long, her mother wouldn't suspect a thing, Regina thought. Of course, thinking of her mother finding out about not only her friend, but also that she was a girl and working the stables, was horrifying. "I would never give away your secret, _our secret_ , Emma."

Emma was at a loss for words when it came to how cavalier Regina seemed to be about magic. Sure, some of the boys in town would tease her and say that the witch was going to creep into her hut at night and gobble her up, but the blonde had always brushed that off as merely a rotten nickname to go along with Lady Cora's terrible reputation for cruelty. To hear that the woman was really and truly capable of magic just made the rumors that much more terrifying.

A whinny from one of the stallions a few stalls down startled Emma from her shocked daze, causing her to jump as if the lady in question had just appeared.

Blinking quickly a few times, Emma forced her breathing to even out as black spots began to creep into the corners of her vision due to her hyperventilation. Breathe, Emma. Deep breaths. After a moment of reminding herself to take each breath slowly, Emma found herself capable of forming words once more.

"Is she..does she…?" The blonde wasn't even sure what she was trying to ask, all of her thoughts were like a twisted jumble of string. She couldn't find the beginning or the end of any coherent sentences until she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as if to clear it of the mess inside. "I've never seen magic, no. Not real magic." The blonde added the last thing as an afterthought when she remembered the supposedly magical doctor that her father had spent almost all of his savings on when Emma's mother was on her death bed. The man had claimed he possessed fairy magic and had sprinkled some sort of powder into a cup of tea, telling the woman to drink it while he chanted.

It hadn't worked, and Emma had found out not much later that the same man had been going from town to town spreading his fake dust and giving false hope to the dying for a hefty sum. Emma thought forever afterwards that that was what had broken her father. Since then his health had continued to deteriorate.

Though Regina promised to keep their friendship a secret, the fear still gnawed at the blonde's insides and left her feeling vaguely sick to her stomach.

Now she had a choice to make. Was having a friend, lady or no, worth risking torture and a slow death at the hands of the purportedly sadistic and apparently magical Lady of the house?


	6. Chapter 11+12

Worried now, after she'd seen how Emma reacted, Regina withdrew her hand from the mare. It had never been her intention to scare Emma, or to chase her away. She'd thought that friends shared everything, and she didn't think that mentioning the fact that her mother could do magic would be such a big deal. Obviously, she'd thought wrong. Her friend had sounded and looked tough before, but now it looked like the girl was almost trembling with fear. Maybe telling Emma about it hadn't been the most clever thing to do.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just.." Regina shook her head, then looked at Emma with a serious expression on her face. "I didn't want to keep any secrets from you, Emma. I thought you should know. You're my friend." Regina knew the fact that the girl was her friend wouldn't hold her mother back from hurting her. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. Regina didn't want her mother to harm Emma in any way, but if she just left.. the girl would not only have to continue the work on her own, but she would also _be_ alone.

"I doubt my mother will find out about _this_ , about _us_ being friends. Our plan will work, I'm sure. Trust me." Was she being selfish? On the one hand, she didn't want to lose her one and only friend, she also wanted to help her, but on the other hand.. maybe Emma was better off without her. "I don't want to lose you." Regina held out her hand, she wasn't quite sure why, but she needed Emma to reassure her that she wouldn't leave. She needed her.

Regina also wanted to tell her friend about the magical things her mother could do. Cora could change her clothes within seconds, she didn't have to walk if she didn't want to, she could control nature. If her mother wasn't so strict, if she was a different person, magic could be quite beautiful, she thought. But right now it wasn't the time. Emma was clearly scared, she was obviously thinking about vicious witches in stories that she'd heard about. Regina knew her mother could be cruel, but she didn't look anything like the old witches from fairy tales.

If Cora ever found out about Emma, Regina decided, she would take the punishment. "If we ever got caught, I would try to explain everything to her, and I'd beg her to leave you alone. Please." At this point, Regina could feel her own despair in her voice. She'd never had a friend, and she'd never been left by one. "You're important to me."

The declarations of being Regina's friend and being important to the girl only barely broke through the fear that clouded Emma's vision. Holding the lead of her horse firmly, the stable girl had pressed the other hand against the beast's strong shoulder in an attempt to stop its shaking. Emma couldn't stop seeing all the ways that magic could bring about her demise. She might not have been the most creative girl in the world, but there was plenty of ideas that popped into her head, each worse than the last.

Shifting her gaze to Regina when she finally regained her senses some, Emma chose to risk her life and removed her hand from the horse and placed it in the other girl's. She was possibly sealing her fate, but Emma decided that she would rather die than live alone.

"Okay. I trust you." The blonde's voice still held a tremor, evidence of the fear she tried to suppress, but she forced out a half smile for Regina's sake.

Returning the smile of the other girl, Regina nodded, then squeezed Emma's hand in response. She knew the decision her friend had just made hadn't been an easy one. Regina wasn't even sure how to feel for a moment; _yes_ , she was happy, relieved that Emma hadn't left, but she was also angry - angry at the world. Her friend was going to lose her father, and from what Emma had told her, she would have _no one_ and _nothing_ left. The girl was aware that no words could heal the wounds of her friend.

Pulling Emma into another hug, Regina closed her eyes, then whispered, "Thank you." She'd only known the girl for a short time, but her heart had already decided that she'd do anything to make her friend feel better in the future. Of course, she was only a child, and there wasn't much she could do now, but one thing Regina had learned while living under her mother's claws was that people could always try and make the best out of a bad situation. They had each other.

She didn't let go of the girl yet, only took a deep breath to try and calm down. Regina didn't want to make her friend even more upset by crying herself. "I don't ever want to let go of you." It was a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach that made her express what she was thinking. All she knew was that she wanted to spend as much time with Emma as possible.

In the short space of two days, Emma had become fairly addicted to the way Regina hugged her. It wasn't the weak way her father drew an arm around her, or the tight but short squeezes some of the elder women in town sometimes gave her. Regina hugged her like she was something to be treasured and never let go of. It was ironic to Emma that she was describing the girl's hugs in such a way just as the brunette confessed.

"So don't then." Emma responded with a giggle that startled her. She hadn't exactly had very much to laugh or be joyful about for a while, and now it seemed as if Regina could draw out her sadness like a poison and fill her with a happiness that the blonde had been a stranger to for far too long.

Returning Regina's hug with a tight squeeze of her own, Emma could feel how the other girl fit against her perfectly, as if she was made for hugging. Sighing contentedly Emma took a deep breath, the scent of hay and horse and something flowery that had to have been Regina mixing in her nose and becoming her new favourite smell in the world.

After a moment, Emma did pull back just a little, speaking with a grin, her cheek touching Regina's. "I think we should ride now, or else I'll just keep hugging you and you'll never get any better."

_~Two years later~_

The scent of horse and sweat and hay was swept away by the harsh wind as Emma balanced atop her galloping horse, two years having done wonders for her riding skills. Fear of the great beasts had long since faded into a caring caution and riding had become an escape that she never expected.

Of course, she mused as her eyes slid to the side to watch her riding companion, the fact that Regina so clearly loved the horses might have had a hand in Emma's improvement. The brunette, from the first day she had discovered the blonde's secret, was a constant in Emma's life. A beautiful, strong, affectionate constant. Emma's smile stretched automatically as she thought of Regina's all-encompassing hugs and the way her face would light up as they saddled the horses together, getting ready to pretend they were free.

Two years, and Emma hadn't been found out by anyone, even after the death of her father, not two weeks after Regina had become her friend. Even now, after all the time that had passed, Emma could not think of her father without a icy sorrow piercing her, one that Regina had managed to keep from destroying her completely. If not for the other girl, Emma might not have made it through, and she would never forget it.

Returning her focus solely to Regina, Emma signaled her steed to begin slowing up as they approached the very edges of the brunette's family's lands. Emma had packed a picnic in her saddle bags to surprise the girl. It was a special day, after all. Exactly two years ago this day, Emma had first met the girl, and on that day her entire life had gained at least a hundred new bright and shining colours.

"Free as the wind!" Regina shouted, her thighs pressed against the mares sides so she could lift herself up just a tiny bit. Taking in a deep breath of the air that rushed past them, the girl threw one arm in the air, then looked to the side where she could see her best friend smiling at her. She loved Emma's smile. She'd loved it for about two years now, ever since they met. At the start, she'd noticed that Emma didn't smile much, only after they'd seen each other for a few times Regina had thought she could see a slight shift, more laughter, and she'd also noticed that Emma's smile would get brighter every time Regina would mention how important she was to her. It was fascinating and fun, seeing the reaction on Emma's face, and knowing she could make someone feel better.

Her mother, surprisingly, hadn't found out about Emma. Even though there had been dicey situations in which they were almost caught, Regina had always found a way to distract her mother - even if it meant Emma and her couldn't see each other for a few days. Regina had gotten a lot happier throughout the last two years, and maybe Cora had thought that it had simply meant her daughter was becoming a grownup. Whenever her mother would ask, "Regina, what's gotten into you?" with a smirk on her face, Regina would simply reply, "I'm happy, mother. That's all you ever want me to be, right?"

Closing her eyes for a second, Regina took in the smell of the grass around them, and looked back at Emma. They were slowing down, the closer they'd get to the edge of the family grounds, the more dangerous it would be. The magical barrier that surrounded the entirety of the ground served as a sufficient alarm system for those both sneaking and sneaking out. After being less careful a few times before, they'd learned to always be on guard. Even after two years, Regina couldn't wait to see Emma again each day, and spending the rest of the day with her. Every time they met, the world suddenly felt different, and Regina was instantly happy. She was going to enjoy it as long as she could.

Coming to a stop near a cluster of trees and dismounting with far more ease than even a year ago, Emma made quick work of fastening her steed to a particular tree that hung beside and across a slow flowing river. This spot was their spot, one that the blonde discovered as a young child and had shared with Regina.

There was nothing she liked better than being around her 'princess'. In the beginning she had hesitated when the little girl had wanted to help with heavy lifting and other such tasks, unable to reconcile the toned muscles that she had since learned hid under the surface of the soft skin with the tiny frame and bright angelic smile. Regina was a gift from the heavens themselves, as far as Emma was concerned, and a real lady.

Thinking of just how proper Regina could be only reminded the rugged teenager of their many 'lady' lessons. Emma, though able to handle social situations with relative ease that only increased over the years spent in Regina's uplifting presence, did not seem very apt at grasping the finer art of etiquette. She walked in too masculine of a manner, a habit formed when she was attempting to hide her identity altogether, and in a dress she felt like a stranger. That might have been merely because Regina's dresses were a bit too short for her and didn't fit quite right around the hips and waist, but the fact remained that Emma only felt like less of a lady over time. In fact, she had begun to entertain thoughts of hiding her gender and attempting to become a knight.

Her horse whinnied in response to the close proximity of Regina's, returning Emma to reality. Her beautiful reality. As she tugged the picnic basket down from her horse's back, Emma breathed in the fresh outdoor air and imagined she could catch a hint of a scent that was all Regina.

"I brought us a picnic lunch!", she shouted happily, proud of what she had packed. Sandwiches, some fruit and a wine that she had saved to purchase, electing to do something special on this the second anniversary of their meeting.

Emma was everything and more that Regina had imagined a friend to be. They shared a big secret, they saw each other almost every day, she could talk to Emma about anything, and they would comfort each other if one of them had a bad day. There were lots and lots of days where they would laugh, tell each other jokes, or get into little play fights, until they were wrestling on the ground. But even on the days where they would cry together, in the end, they would return home with a smile. It had been a completely new, and exciting experience, and at this point, Regina couldn't have imagined her life without having Emma by her side.

She loved everything about her friend, the way she talked, how she was curious about the life in the castle, and how she sometimes tried so hard to imitate "ladylike" behaviour. They would always end up a giggling mess.

Raising an eyebrow, Regina looked over to Emma. "Picnic? Sounds good to me!" It wasn't the first time they'd eaten together - though, at the very start it had been difficult for Regina to explain to her mother why she would be gone at breakfast, lunch or dinner. Most of the time she'd tell her that she wanted to train and ride some more, and at some point Cora had gotten used to it, but only after making sure Regina took some food with her or ate before she went out.

Throughout the last two years, Regina was more and more convinced that the older she got, the easier it was for her to understand Cora, adjust to her moods, and get out of her what she wanted. But she'd also felt like Cora was more relaxed - maybe because Regina had tried extra hard to please her, so she could spend more time with her best friend outside.

Regina got her mare to stop, and jumped off her excitedly. "What have you got this time, Emma? Show me!"

Emma laid out a large blanket before she set to unloading what she had prepared. A small pile of sandwiches, several plums and a healthy sized bunch of grapes and a bottle of wine that Emma had saved a month to buy. Even as she withdrew the bottle, the heat in her face was increasing by leaps and bounds, the thought that Regina probably would look at the thing and believe it to be cheap beginning to nag at her.

She had been so proud at first, having made everything herself without the help of some of the kinder kitchen staff. However, now as she looked over the little packed lunch, there was an overwhelming sense of inadequacy that just wouldn't leave her alone.

"I mean.. you know.. it's not much.. but I made it myself and.." She shrugged with one shoulder and gave the other girl an uncertain smile. No matter what she did, if she could draw a smile from her princess, then everything would feel like the finest feast in all the lands.

Regina's smile grew wider the more items Emma laid out on the little blanket that she'd brought with her. Of course, Emma had planned it all out, organised and prepared everything herself, only to impress Regina. She was used to it, at this point; but she never got tired of it. Quite the opposite, every time Emma would come up with something and surprise Regina, the girl would feel warm, content, and.. safe. No one had ever taken care of Regina the way her best friend did.

"It's perfect!" Regina blurted out, cheeks flushed, excited about the fact Emma had taken time to prepare a picnic for them. "I love it! Really!" her eyes went over to the bottle of wine that the best friend had put down carefully, and her eyes went wide. "Wine? Where did you even get that?"

Carefully plucking a few grapes from a wine, Regina smiled at Emma, then opened her arms and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you." she whispered in her ear, and let go. "Now say aaaaah!" Grinning, she held one of the grapes up, waiting for Emma to comply.

Fully convinced that there was nothing in this world better than an embrace coming from the magnificent creature who had come to be the most important person in her life, Emma made to slip her arms around the smaller girl's waist. Before she could return the hug however, there was food being pushed into her face, and who was she to deny her princess? Playing at being some sort of monster, the blonde made growly animal noises before closing her mouth over Regina's fingers and sucking the grape out of her grasp.

Tiny tingles like fairy footsteps rushed swiftly down the length of her body, resulting in a light blush that she turned quickly to try and hide. Uncorking the wine slowly, both so she would not risk spilling any of the expensive drink and to allow time to compose herself, Emma answered, "I got it in town." Duh, Emma, don't patronize the girl, she chastised herself. "I mean, I saved up and got it. It's a special day!" The last sentence was spoken with more eager excitement than the blonde had intended, and instantly she was glancing at Regina for a sign that she too had remembered the anniversary of their meeting.

Giggling at Emma's reaction, the silly noises and the playful expression on her face while she was chewing the fruit, Regina shook her head. Emma always knew how to make Regina laugh, even on days where she didn't feel like laughing, or smiling at all. She was so different from all the people Regina had met, and she was glad about it. It was exciting, seeing Emma move, hearing her talk, and interact with her. It was odd at first, but she'd gotten used to it. She craved her presence every day, and it was especially hard when she couldn't leave the castle.

Watching Emma opening the bottle, Regina's giggles came to a halt. She'd gotten it for them. Feeling herself blush, Regina looked away for just a second, until Emma mentioned that today was a special day. Raising one eyebrow, Regina thought for a second. Special day? Did she forgot about something? Emma's birthday? No, that couldn't be.

"Special day, Emma? What is it?" Her eyes were glued to the bottle, already feeling bad for how long the other girl must've saved up for it. "Thank you so much for this. Thank you for always making me smile."

A vague surge of disappointment rushed through Emma's veins and it took a gargantuan amount of effort to keep from allowing the expression to bleed through on her face. As the wine pooled in the two glasses she had smuggled from the kitchens, Emma spoke gently, quietly, almost embarrassed

"It was.. it was two years ago today that we met for the first time." Emma's voice grew small as she spoke, uncertain now of how ridiculous she might seem for celebrating something so..insignificant. There were always those days in which Emma would come suddenly to terms with the enormous difference in social class between Regina and herself. But somehow, even in her fancy riding frocks and perfectly pulled back hair, as if a servant had done it, Regina could reassure her with ease.

Emma shucked her coat and laid it beside the blanket, her boots following the jacket's lead and leaving her in breeches that she had finally grown into just a bit more and a loose cream colored tunic shirt. Lifting her glass of wine and handing one over to Regina, Emma made a toast.

"To us, best friends forever!"


	7. Chapter 13+14

Nodding over to Emma, Regina took the glass and held it up against Emma's. "Best friends forever, you're right!" Regina was still smiling, but as soon as she held the glass against her lips, she suddenly felt bad. Had it really already been two years since they'd met for the first time? She felt embarrassed for not remembering, and not thinking about anything to give to Emma. Bad friend..

But, she felt like she couldn't help it, time seemed to be flying ever since they'd met. Regina had gotten used to living in the moment, thinking of Emma, seeing Emma, missing her at night when they had to be apart, thinking of Emma again, until the next morning, day or evening she'd see her again. She felt warm, and happy, no matter what, whenever she thought about her friend. Anything else that might've bothered or angered her that day, as soon as she'd remember her best friend, her lips would curl into a smile.

Regina took a gulp of wine, accidentally, she'd thought too hard and didn't quite focus on the delicious liquid right in front of her nose. "Emma!" Regina exclaimed, almost spilling the wine. "I've got to make this up to you! I'm so sorry I forgot! I'm such a bad friend! Just, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you and I.. I just, can't stop thinking about you."

Blushing now, Regina shrugged a little, and looked over to her mare. After staying silent for only a few seconds, she turned back to Emma. "I'll make it up to you! I need to show you something!"

Getting up much too quickly, and almost stumbling over and spilling the wine, Regina stopped. "I.. I mean, no. We need to finish your.. delicious wine first! It really is delicious! I just took a big gulp and.." she started laughing. "I'm sorry, let's just sit down and enjoy this first." Grinning at Emma, she finished her glass in one go. "More, please!" She didn't care what she would look like in front of Emma. Here, in front of her friend, she didn't have to be a lady.

Watching the thoughts blossom across the expressive features of the girl she had come to call 'her princess', if only in her head, Emma couldn't have been happier. Regina was a shining gem, pure and wonderful and more valuable to Emma than the girl could really find words for. It was abundantly clear that Regina hadn't meant any harm in forgetting the anniversary of their first encounter, and the blonde couldn't help but feel a little silly for making a big thing of it in the first place.

Waving a hand in casual dismissal, sipping at the strong wine to hide her red cheeks at Regina's eager manner, Emma did her best to keep hidden just how much her hyperactive princess affected her own mood.

"Calm down!" Emma giggled as she doled out another helping of wine in the fine glass in Regina's hand. The notion of a tipsy Regina tripping over her own two feet was an amusing one that brought more giggles bubbling to the surface, along with the instant decision that Emma would be the one to catch her. She would always be the one to catch Regina, she decided right then, without considering the fact that there might come a time in which they were apart.

Who could separate two such close friends? However, with that question came the warm sensation that always accompanied thoughts of her relationship with Regina. Yes, they were friends, best friends she would say. Heck, the other girl said it herself at every opportunity, but there was something in the twist of Emma's stomach that just made the word 'friends' feel like not quite enough. It occurred to her that Regina had just admitted to being unable to stop thinking of Emma either, and the idea that the girl might have the same sort of undefinable 'stronger than friendship' feelings only amplified the buzzing that had already begun in the blonde's stomach at the mere sight of her princess.

Interrupting her own silence after realizing that it had gone on for far too long, Emma smacked her lips loudly after a long gulp of the sweet red wine.

"Today is no day for apologies!" Taking Regina's hand in hers in what felt to Emma like a daring move, the blonde played the part of the white knight as she often imagined and pressed her lips to the brunette's knuckles. Face heating up as she pulled away, Emma's smile trembled lightly, her fingers giving Regina's a squeeze. "Today is just for celebration, okay?"

As usual, the time spent with Emma passed faster than Regina realized, leaving the brunette breathless and red-faced under the influence of the now empty bottle of wine that she had split almost evenly with the blonde. Giggling madly at something Emma had said that she swore was hilarious even if she could not quite recall the exact order of the words that had issued from the blonde's lips, Regina cut herself off with a quick 'oh!' recalling that she had wanted to show Emma something wonderful.

The wishing well just on the outskirts of her family's property had been shown to her no more than a week ago by none other than her mother. It had served as a prop in an object lesson, the subject of which was the merits of hard work. Apparently the woman's latest criticism lay in Regina's seeming lack of desire to work with her tutors. This, of course, was solely due to the fact that Emma was rarely far from the brunette's mind and thus distracted her thoroughly, making it nearly impossible to focus on her lessons. Regina couldn't very well tell her mother this however, so she had followed along when her mother had declared it was time for her to take over for a short time in the girl's schooling.

In short, Regina had ended up nodding along as Cora lectured her on the well's magical properties, only barely registering the 'magical' part, instead taking in the way the light danced through the leaves and littered the forest floor with sunlight. As she surveyed the patches of brightness, she compared it automatically to the way Emma's hair shone when she let it flow loose from her cap, pure sunshine seeming to burst free as she shook out her long locks. More than once Emma had threatened to cut it, cursing the heavy heat that lingered in the summer months just under her cap.

Emma smiled happily to the brunette as she played the fool, not handling her wine as well as the blonde had expected. While the girl wasn't a heavy drinker herself, she did occasionally carry a small flask in the winter from which she would take the odd nip of the rum that her father had enjoyed in the afternoons and left behind when he passed. It didn't serve much more than to warm her insides a bit, but it had made it possible for her to retain conscious thought and selfawareness, even after the significant amount of wine she had ingested already.

"Come on, Emma! I want to show you something _wonderful_!" Regina slurred the last word with a giggle as she stood, dragging the blonde along with both hands curled around one of hers. "Alright!", Emma shouted above Regina's joyous laughter, "alright! I'm coming!" At this agreement, Regina took off running, aiming for the patch of woods that was only barely connected to the immense forest lining the entire west edge of her family's property. Emma sped after her, her long legs aiding her in catching up quickly.

As the girl's approached the tree line, Regina slowed considerably and grasped at Emma's arm to slow her as well. "You need to close your eyes!" Regina demanded, albeit with a smile. It was this side of her that was the clearest evidence of her social status, Emma thought. This assuming that everyone would do as she asked without question. The blonde hardly minded, closing her eyes in an expression of trust, hands lifting before her to keep from running into a tree. Regina took one of her hands and began to lead her.

The light shining behind Emma's eyelids became patchier, leaves crunching underfoot as the two entered the forest proper. After a moment or two of walking, Regina came to a halt, Emma doing the same. "Open your eyes!"

Emma's features twisted into an expression of wonder at the sight presented her, so simple and elegant, yet perfect. Most especially with Regina now dancing through the small clearing. Just off center sat a well, looking both ancient and new, surrounded by a bed of orange, yellow and flaming red leaves that had fallen from the trees lining the oval clearing. Light broke through the remaining leaves at odd intervals, Regina's hair reflecting the sun like gleaming obsidian as she pranced through the little clusters.

"It's…beautiful." Emma's voice was low, apparently too low for Regina to hear as she approached her with an excited smile and took one of Emma's hands in both of hers. "What was that? What do you think?" Regina was almost out of breath as she asked, eyes fixated on Emma's wondrous expression.

"It's beautiful", Emma repeated, though this time she had only eyes for Regina. The brunette was elated, jumping at Emma and grasping her in a tight hug, seemingly overjoyed that her 'surprise' had gone over well. As she turned her face to plant a brave, happy, kiss on Emma's cheek, Regina did not take note of the blonde's turning head. In less than a heartbeat, their lips met in a clumsy, chaste kiss, just a hard brush of mouths. Freezing where she stood, Emma's heart nearly beat out of her chest, heat filling the entirety of her body with a startling instancy.

Pulling from the once-again giggling Regina's hold swiftly enough that the girl could tighten her grip to prevent her escape, Emma stumbled backwards a step, shock making it impossible for her to form a complete sentence. "I…I.. I don't.. um.." Regina reached for her as she struggled for words, taking both her hands just before the blonde could turn tail and run. The brunette's pupils were blown wide from a mix of alcohol and a pleasant feeling low in her belly that she could only identify as beginning the very moment she accidentally kissed Emma in a far more intimate manner than she intended. In her wine hazed mind there was no room for uncertainty, only Emma. Unfortunately for Emma, the wine only made it harder for her to form a complete thought, including one that explained just why her heart was beating so hard now, and why she both wanted to run away and take a firm hold of Regina and never let go again.

Neither girl noticed the way the well had begun to leak trickles of magic, nor had they seen the burst of light that filled the already sunlit clearing the second that their lips accidentally touched. Both were too involved in the event that had just come to pass to realize that what they had done had only set in motion a larger set of gears, a long game in which they were currently merely unwitting pawns.

Far away, though not so very far, in a manor that could hardly be called a home, one did notice the surge of magic that enveloped the realm. With no small amount of panic in her heart, or at least where there should be a heart, a powerful sorceress began making plans.

\------

Emma grunted as she heaved another heavy bale of hay into the last stall, sweat dripping down her face despite the cool air. Fall was very much alive, though not nearly as much inside of the stuffy barn as outside. There was a reason that the blonde had the doors sealed up, and it was entirely due to the abundant and colourful leaves that were in her sight each and every time her eyes passed an open door. Red, orange, yellow, they all reminded her of that day only a week ago when she had effectively ended the best friendship she had ever had.

Even now her face grew warm when she thought of Regina and she could swear that she still felt the delicate softness of the other girl's lips against her own. It was an accident, a mistake, a horribly embarrassing one. She had kissed Regina, and she had liked it.

A sick feeling encompassed Emma's body, forcing her to still for a minute to catch her breath and keep from vomiting. It wasn't the fact that she had kissed the other girl in a way that girls were not meant to, but rather the fact that she had liked it that left her ill. That was wrong, was it not? A woman was meant to find a husband and bear children, right? Emma wasn't meant to cavort with other girls, and most especially not the one girl she had become friends with in a way she never expected or even thought possible.

But she had liked it, oh Merlin how she had liked it. Regina's smell, light and sweet, the tingle of her slightly warm and sticky lips, the press of her body against Emma's in an impossibly tight hug. It was like magic, and Emma abhorred the way she desired more. And it wasn't just on a physical level that she had enjoyed the accidental kiss, but also on a deeper level that she couldn't find words for.

It was wrong. Emma could see that now, she could see that Regina was certainly just incapable of understanding how serious their mistake was due to the amount of wine she had been drinking. There was no way such a noble girl would see this as anything other than horrendous and disgusting, and that was the thought that Emma held close. With any luck whatsoever, Regina would return for her regular riding lessons soon so that Emma could apologize for her part in the mess and maintain at least a cordial relationship.

Emma was not so foolish as to think that Regina would want to be close friends anymore, not after such a thing.

* * *

Silence ruled as per usual in the dining room where Regina had been forced to join her mother for the midday meal. Other than the clink of silverware on fine china, there was nothing to distract Cora from watching her daughter with keen eyes, ready to correct any small deviation in the girl's required etiquette. Regina could feel the burn of her mother's eyes and put extra effort into following every rule of said etiquette that meal time required so as not to give the woman excuse to keep her trapped in the manor any longer.

One solid week it had been since she had seen Emma last, one horribly long week filled with lessons delivered personally by Cora. Years of practice allowed Regina the skills to suppress the shudder wanting to wrack her spine. She couldn't be certain what it was that prompted her mother to forbid her riding lessons for the present time, but Regina assumed that it had something to do with the way she had returned from her picnic with Emma.

Stumbling lightly from the effects of the alcohol and dirtied from a tumble or two she vaguely recalled having after stabling her horse, Regina had not been able to avoid the older woman when she returned home that day. Cora, scandalized, had appeared to accept that Regina had fallen off her horse and was merely dizzy from the fall. However, as a result, she had forbidden riding lessons until Regina 'healed'. As she had overseen the servant that took care of her daughter, Cora had even offhandedly suggested that Regina would never be an excellent rider if she was still falling from her steed, so why continue with lessons at all?

The idea that she would no longer be able to see Emma regularly made Regina sick. What made it worse though was the hazy memory of Emma's stricken face and the thought that Regina could not even make sure that the blonde was okay for the foreseeable future.

Regina could still feel Emma's kiss. The shudder that managed to flood her body this time was light enough that Cora did not notice, but it did create an immense distraction that forced Regina to set her spoon down. Nothing she had ever felt before could compare to the burst of joy and.. something indescribable when her lips had made contact with her blonde friend's.

Love, perhaps?

"Regina, are you alright?" Cora asked with a modicum of affected concern. Regina glanced up, making eye contact with her mother and praying that the woman could not see the new shine in her gaze.

"Yes, mother. I'm just full", she lied to Cora's face, smiling in what she hoped was a calm manner. The woman eyed her for a minute longer before nodding in acceptance.

"Alright." Cora consumed another spoonful of soup before speaking again, "I was just thinking.. You're not properly dressed, my dear." Regina's expression shifted into confusion, as she could have sworn that the dress was completely up to her mother's standards. Always, the woman dressed her in the light colours of an unmarried girl, still pure. The dress she wore was cream with light touches of blue, one of her own favorites, and she had thought her mother's as well.

"Mother?"

Cora waved a hand, the magic she summoned enveloping Regina instantly and after a half second leaving her in her riding gear, hair pulled back tight. "That's much better for riding, don't you think?"

Confusion gave way to a purely happy and partially disbelieving smile. "You don't mean-"

"Yes, I do", Cora cut her off, nodding with a satisfied smile. "You are to resume riding lessons today. I'm sure the stable boy will be glad of your company." Cora prodded at her daughter with her words, but it went unnoticed by the overjoyed girl.

"Thank you, mother!" Regina jumped from her seat and rushed to the woman in a manner that might have displeased Cora if she were not the receiver of the light hug and peck on the cheek that the girl offered. As it was, the woman let it be, watching her daughter dash from the room as if there were a fire.

 _Very good_ , Cora preened, pleased with herself. _And so it begins._

* * *

"Emma!" Regina shouted as she pulled open one heavy barn door. The girl in question jumped as her given name was called, startled into stalling mid-polish with a heavy saddle on the rack before her. Wide eyes jumped to the door to find the grinning brunette.

"Regina!" Emma called in surprise, shocked that the girl had returned so soon. Were it her choice, Emma might have hidden for months at the very least, shame at her own desires keeping her from seeing a soul. That didn't appear to have clouded Regina's mind however, as she practically bounced and ran to the blonde, capturing her in a tight hug.

Regaining her senses while in Regina's arms, Emma tried not to return the gesture and failed. Hugs were acceptable, yes? And after a week of thinking she would never have one again.. she was starved for the kind of affection that Regina offered so readily.

"I've missed you so much", the brunette sighed into the embrace, pulling away only after Emma had finally given her a tight squeeze.

"I missed you too", Emma replied automatically with the truth, voice thick with everything else she was scared to say. Noting the unusual tone, Regina peered into the blonde's eyes with worry in her own, placing the back of her hand against Emma's forehead.

"Are you alright? Are you getting sick?"

Emma pushed the hand away but held it between her own, eyes dropping as she decided to say what she must quickly, like ripping a plaster off.

"I.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. Uh, you know. I didn't intend to..to kiss you. It was wrong." Emma's voice skipped as she spoke, her hands tightening around Regina's to stop their shaking.

Regina grew more confused with each word that dropped from Emma's lips, her lips.. Blinking several times to draw herself back to the present, Regina shook her head briskly, dismissing the apology.

"No. No, no. Stop." Emma glanced up with her own fair amount of confusion as Regina spoke, uncertainty tinting her every expression.

"What?"

"It wasn't wrong. I liked it. So how could it be wrong?", Regina asserted, completely sure that she was in the right. Nothing in her life thus far had felt as satisfying as that simple kiss with Emma, her beautiful golden-haired stable girl, and she wouldn't let anyone, not even Emma, discount how wonderful it had made her feel.

"But… but we're both.. both women."

"So?"

Emma could not help but think that was an argument a child might make, but for the moment she could not find it in her to care. Regina was here, telling her that kissing her was.. good. It was an accident, but perhaps a happy one? As Emma continued to think, Regina watched, hating how she was on the outside of the blonde's thoughts.

"So…" Emma echoed, unclear as to what was to happen next.

"So, I would..", this time Regina was the one to hesitate, brave at first but now not very sure how Emma would receive what she wanted to say, "I would like to.. kiss you again."

Emma's heart very nearly stopped at Regina's words. Her earnest words. The part of Emma that had declared this was wrong, that two women were not intended to consort in such a manner, that part was squashed by the swelling of the blonde's heart, her happiness in the realization that Regina did indeed hold the same feelings within as she.

The hope and desire must have been clear on Emma's face, for Regina did not wait for an answer before leaning in to give the blonde a short but meaningful kiss, just a brush of their lips. Emma's breathing quickened and without letting Regina pull away, she returned the affection.

Time lost meaning as the girls stood close, the kiss still nothing more than the pressing of one mouth to another, but a deeper sensation than either had ever known.

It was Emma that broke the kiss, her smile shy as she mumbled, "I suppose we should go riding now, yeah?"

Regina tilted forward with a soft giggle to touch her forehead to Emma's. "Yes, I suppose." Placing one last quick kiss to Emma's lips, Regina then shifted to take hold of her saddle from the many lining the wall.

"Why don't we take it easy today and take a ride along the edges of your holdings?" Emma asked as she moved to gather her own riding gear, sliding her father's leather jacket on and electing to let her hair remain loose.

"That sounds lovely", replied Regina with a lilt in her voice, happy beyond words as she prepared her horse. "Maybe we can stop at our well a little later?"

Emma flushed with happiness with her back turned to Regina, pleased that the girl had called it 'their well' for obvious reasons. She was smitten, and Regina condoned it. Inside, deep inside, spoke a voice that said Regina would come to her senses eventually and see that this was not anything that had a future. But for now, Emma told herself firmly, she would enjoy the sort of..love.. yes, love, that she had not ever expected to hold.

"I'd like that."

The ride was easy and beautiful, though Emma thought that mostly because of the way her eyes kept drifting to Regina. Braid bouncing along behind her as they galloped, eyes shining with the pure joy that riding provided, the brunette was certainly a sight to behold.

Regina thought something much along the same lines as she made eye contact with her stable girl, treasuring the rare sight of shining locks flowing behind her like a battle flag.

A far off shout drew the attention of both, drawing them to a halt to listen for the source. Again came the voice, a young girl it sounded like, shrieking for help. Emma panicked as the child came into view, without her cap she could be identified instantly as a girl, and who knew who the child was? Before she had longer to think, Regina was taking off on her horse at a mad gallop to save the child.

Regina rode hard, coming up alongside the child's runaway horse and tugging her quickly to her own. Emma's heart swelled again at the sight of her strong princess, sliding from her horse to half hide behind his large body.

As Regina looked to be introducing herself and making sure that the little girl was alright, Emma watched from afar and wondered idly if this would be how it was always. Would she always just be a spectator to Regina's life, sharing bare stolen moments?

Waving in return as the brunette gestured (at least from what Emma could tell) that she was going to bring the little girl home, Emma hoped the sinking sensation in her belly was not foreshadowing something greater.

* * *


	8. Chapter 15+16

_The slam of wooden barn doors opened far too violently brought Emma and Regina to a halt, hands linked as Cora made her presence very much known. Her eyes, shimmering with glee at having found out the truth and at the same time gleaming with a hatred as she came to understand her daughter's deception, fastened onto the pair with a ferocity that frightened Emma to the bone. Regina's hand in hers trembled as Cora approached, stalking towards them as a wildcat towards prey._

" _What have we here?" the woman asked in a voice hushed not by control, but by rage. "I had heard that you were planning to run off with the stable boy but I was fairly certain the man was your father's age and yet.. what do I find? Am I to take it that you have chosen to run away with this imposter? This.. girl?" Words grew thorns as they spouted from Cora's disdainful lips, pricking at Emma with each that fell. "I assumed you were going through a rebellious phase when I heard, but this? Regina, how could you even think to participate in such a… a horrendous abomination of an affair?"_

" _I love her, mother!" Regina's fingers gripped Emma's ever tighter, as if afraid that Cora's words alone would blow the blonde away like dust in the wind. "And we're leaving this place. Tonight! I don't want to marry the king!"_

_Cora chuckled in response to Regina's outburst, stepping forward as she waved a hand dismissively. "You have no idea what you want, Regina. You have no concept of what is good for you. Not like I do. I want only the best for you, my dear."_

_Hackles raised by the insinuation that she wasn't intelligent enough to make her own decisions, Regina retorted with a pleading expression, "Please mother.. Just let me go! Let me be happy!" Cora sighed, her eyes taking on something like sorrow as she drew close to the girls, one hand lifting to her daughter's cheek in a light caress._

" _I'm sorry, my darling, but I can't allow this to happen." The words were barely out of her mouth before her hand shot out in a violent thrust, entering Emma's chest without pretense or care and ripping her beating heart from her body. A choked sound emitted from the blonde's mouth as Cora squeezed, the organ crumbling to nothing more than ashes in the woman's hand in the space of what should have been a heartbeat._

Emma shot straight up in bed, the nightmare clinging to her flesh itself, a smell of ashes and hay lingering in her nostrils. The dream, the nightmare, the terror she went through more often than she could remember. In the past the vision, the delusion, the images would fade come morning, the sun chasing away any hint of what might have been the memory of a past life.

Not today. This time she could remember it, every single second, as if it had happened only yesterday. As if it were real. The rustling of straw under her booted feet, the worn out leather jacket slung about her shoulders, the agony of her heart being separated from her body and destroyed before her eyes, the warmth of Regina's hand..

Pain raced through Emma's every nerve, thrusting her into a state of unreality for several eternal seconds. When it suddenly stopped, she could remember. She could remember every second of every day in that life. That oh-so-different life. That oh-so-different Regina. Her heart picked up the pace without a second to spare, pulse nearly doubling as she came to the only conclusion that she sensed to be true. Somehow, someway, she had known Regina before. Before the woman was anything more than a girl. Before she transformed into the force of nature she would become. Before the darkness took a firm hold of her and refused to let go for so many painful years.

And then it hit her, harder than the memories. The darkness.

"Finally awake, are we?" The voice had Emma jumping to her feet, whirling to find a familiar face.

"Gold!" Only then did she take stock of her surroundings. The mines. She was in the mines, and had seemingly been unconscious for a considerable amount of time if the irritation on the man's face was anything to judge by. "What the hell..?" His skin was ragged, gold as his name, eyes discolored and clothing.. Emma could only describe it as something utterly cliché. Fairytale. The man was a walking renaissance fair.

"Welcome to the world, princess. I think you'll find it a lot more fun, now that you have the ability and the drive to do exactly what you please." His grin was disturbing, as was her presence in this place. Alone, for that matter.

"What happened? Why am I here?" Gold appeared unperturbed, if slightly more manic than usual, as he stood from the rocks on which he had been lounging with a flourish.

"Don't worry, dearie. The memories will come back in a moment or so." With that Emma thought immediately to the past life that she had only just come to terms with, and remembered for that matter. Gold shook his head quickly in response to her unspoken thought. "Not those memories, dear."

"Regina!" Gold rolled his eyes with a weary sigh.

"I said not those memories, dear. Have you become suddenly hard of hearing?" Emma rounded on the man with a deep scowl and growled, "The darkness, it was coming for her! And.. and then.."

A tugging at the back of her skull was an instant and nearly painful distraction. Gold rumbled out a chuckle and cringed as she clutched the spot just at the base of her skull in growing discomfort.

"The lingering magic in the mines and the fact that you are a rather freshly born Dark One has protected you from answering the dagger's summons for nearly a full 24 hours. But I'm afraid that isn't going to last much longer. In what will likely just be a few short minutes, you will answer automatically to the bearer of the key to your brand new, very old, figurative shackles, my dear."

Emma comprehended slowly, mind catching up with the rest of her. The first words she reacted to however, were, "Dark One? I'm..—" The reality hit her hard, harder than the recollection that had just slammed into place. "I stabbed the darkness with the dagger. So now I'm.." She rubbed at the sides of her head with her fingers, not bothering to pray to any higher power to make it all not real.

Gold moved his finger back and forth saying, "Tick, tock, tick, tock. You had better get a hold of yourself soon. You have a reputation to keep, and a dagger to steal. Not to mention.. Don't you now have the power to get all that you were denied up till now?" Despite all the knowledge Emma possessed that screamed how bad this was, and everything inside that said that she had to find a way to remove the darkness from her body NOW, there was one part that was just loud enough to make itself heard that drew her thoughts to everything she could now have, everything that she could take from anyone who would try to keep her from her happiness.

"Now you're getting it", Gold tittered with delight as Emma's expression shifted into consideration. She opened her mouth to respond, only to find the tugging, the call, had become too strong. In an instant she was gone, vanished as thoroughly as if she had never been.

* * *

Regina shook the dagger as if it might knock something loose, something that would make it work. Something that would bring Emma back.

"It's not a keg with a broken nozzle, you're not going to fix it by hitting it." Hook's attempt at clever sass was met with a look that could fell an elephant at ten yards, drawing a scowl from the man, though he did turn away with a huff. Regina might have given her own left hand to be in her own home and not loitering in Granny's diner with the entire motley crew.

Seated at a booth, Regina had the dagger in hand. She had refused to release the thing since the night before, refusing anyone who came near. The Charmings sat across from her, Snow cradling her infant son close to keep the little bundle from crying. Though it was likely only the presence of the child and the fact that the two idiots were Emma's parents that kept her from lashing out at them as well, she owed no such niceties to anyone else. Certainly not the pirate. Robin hovered on the sidelines as well, but after being on the receiving end of a tongue lashing when he suggested that she leave the dagger with them and get some rest at home, he backed off for the time being.

She almost regretted the outburst, as it was now the only reason she stubbornly remained at the diner instead of actually returning to her manor to be alone as she desired. However, she could not deny that being with the Charmings at the very least seemed like some sort of support, almost like a team. Team Charming. Regina scoffed under her breath.

Drawing the dagger close, Regina traced the letters of Emma's name with a finger, wishing with all her might that there was some sign that the idiotic, heroic, foolish-beyond-words blonde was alright.

"Come on, Emma.. Come back, you idiot." A rush of gray smoke grew in a pillar just beside the booth, blooming in an instant and dropping away to reveal a very distressed Emma. Her eyes were distant for the split second she appeared, clearing as they landed on Regina and the dagger. There was a collective sound of shock and then the silence that followed was broken by Emma herself, "You summoned me?"

Emma jerked from her daze, brows furrowing. The words had been automatic, she could only assume that it came with the territory when one was a Dark One. But with all the power she now supposedly possessed, certainly she could change the settings or something, right? The thought was cut off by Regina's rushing to her feet to look Emma in the eye with a care that the blonde had only seen.. far too long ago.

The memories of the past that she had only just become aware of clashed mightily with the memories of her life, her current life, dashing her against the rocks of confusion and glee and fear and more emotions that she had absolutely no desire to explore further. The memories were enough for now, and with them the knowledge of what she wanted.

Emma shot a weak smile at her parents, both of whom seemed to be struggling between shock and relief and a measure of what she really didn't want to identify as caution, almost fright.

"Are you okay?" Regina was the first to break the silence, reaching for Emma as if she might touch her only to pull back.

"I think so." Emma responded shortly, more interested in examining Regina's face for any knowledge the woman might have of their true history together, the one that went way farther back than Henry.

"Are you..—" Snow looked afraid to finish her question, David did it for her with an arm around her shoulders.

"Are you.. the Dark One now?" Emma's eyes shifted to the dagger still in Regina's hands and then back to her parents.

"Looks like it." Gold giggled merrily, appearing quite suddenly in the corner of the diner just perfectly in Emma's line of sight.

"Of course you're the Dark One, dearie. That's what happens when you go up against the dark. It consumes you. And.. oh… You are quite the delicious one, aren't you?" Clenching her fists, Emma made to retort and stopped a second before she realized that no one else had reacted. Confusion took over in earnest as she glanced to Regina and her parents, Hook and Robin lingering at the bar with their eyes securely on her, and only her. No one else seemed to care that some twisted version of Gold was now making rude faces just behind their backs. Unless.. "Ding ding ding!" Gold mimicked the sound of a winning slot machine. "Give the girl a prize! She's got it!" Only Emma could see the demented man.

"Where were you? What happened?" Hook spoke this time, creeping up to Emma's side and taking her hand in his. It felt wrong. So very wrong. Emma could remember clearly the way that Regina's palm flexed in hers, fitting perfectly from before she even knew how she felt, warm and soft and strong. Hook's hand was clammy, and the care she held for him felt dim in the light of what she now knew she had lost.

Emma pulled away, taking a step back from everyone, though her eyes moved to Regina and stayed there. "I'm fine. I was.. I'm fine." When Regina's hand tightened on the dagger, Emma felt it keenly. Her posture grew rigid as Regina lifted the dagger, she prepared to do her best to resist whatever it was that Regina was about to command.

"Here", the woman held out the dagger in an open palm, offering it to Emma freely. "This is yours." Gold clapped as if it were all some play being acted out in front of him, but Emma could see the greed in his eyes, she could feel it in her soul. Or whatever she had in place of a soul. Surprise had her reaching for the dagger quickly, wanting to possess the only thing that could stop her. But then something stopped her. It was the trust in Regina's eyes, that same expression, albeit damaged, dented, dirty, but the same as that girl Emma had met a lifetime ago.

Regina truly trusted her.

She wanted to return the favour, she honestly did. But Emma couldn't resist the pull of the dagger, taking it gingerly from Regina's hand. Emma took care not to touch the woman's hand at all for fear that the contact would make her weak, would make her incapable of taking the only thing that could keep her from following through with the plan already blossoming in her thoughts.

Emma favoured Regina with a smile, a true smile. "Thank you." The smile she received in return was nothing short of miraculous, an expression that she had seen maybe a handful of times in her years as a Storybrooke citizen, and at least a million times in her life as a stable girl. Never before had it affected her so deeply however, striking through everything and making her question whether she could really do what she was considering.

Then again, if she were to succeed, then that smile would be hers alone. Taking a deep breath, Emma slid into the booth after Regina and mentally prepared herself for the long game ahead.

Emma lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with unseeing eyes. Sleep wouldn't come, as she was told the very first night that she returned to her loft, Gold made that clear from the get-go. But that didn't mean she couldn't try. Ever present, Emma was really starting to hate the man, the delusion's tendency to answer her unspoken thoughts was unnerving. Her eyes shifted about her in the room, ready for Gold to pop up and giggle at her jumpiness.

It wasn't as if she could help it. What should she have done instead? Leave Regina to get destroyed, or eaten, by a swirling vortex of doom?

"Well, that might have been a simpler way to go, yes, but then you'd have no chance to get what you really want now, would you?" Gold's smug voice was enough to drive Emma up the wall, and that wasn't considering the way he scared the hell out of her with each surprise appearance. It had been a week, and he seemed to take pleasure in setting her off balance, making pointed faces and comments whenever Regina was near that had actually turned her face into a decent imitation of a tomato the day before.

Slapping a hand on the pillow beside her in frustration, Emma closed her eyes. She had learned early on as well that Gold couldn't really do anything to hurt her, not physically. So she had no reason to fear letting her guard down when the man decided to pop in to harass her.

Being the Dark One might have perks, the whole power thing, and the increased capacity for whooping ass and giving no fucks, but it was really inconvenient when it came to Emma's attempts to act as if everything were as normal in her head as they ever were. More than once she had been caught by her parents staying just a little too still, unnaturally so, lost in thought, or emitting what looked like smoke lingering at her fingertips like static cling.

"You know the faster you accept it, the faster you can get rid of me." Emma scoffed.

"You're in my head, I really doubt I'll be rid of you just by 'accepting it'." Eyes pointed from the ceiling out of the window. "Besides, I've already basically accepted it. I know my parents are looking for a way to undo this, and in a way I know that's what we should do but.." Gold lifted a brow with a grin, nodding in encouragement of Emma's self-expression. "I'm afraid of forgetting again." Admitting the weakness was uncomfortable and grated against her in all the wrong ways, but who was the delusion going to tell?

Gold chuckled knowingly, the dismay easy enough to read on Emma's face even if he wasn't able to read her mind and soul like a favorite novel. "Well, dear, I'm afraid that the price of your memories.. might just be accepting the darkness fully, down to the depths of your being." A shudder traveled from the top to the bottom of Emma's spine, hitting every vertebrae with precision.

"I told you. I've accepted it. I don't think there's a way to separate it from me anyway. Yeah, there was some talk about Merlin or whatever else, but I don't see how some old guy with a crazy beard is going to 'save my soul' or whatever." Emma turned to her side, pulling the blankets tighter around herself. "And even they managed it.. Who's to say I wouldn't be happier this way?"

Forgetting was a thought that Emma had trouble swallowing. What would happen if the great brain capacity that the darkness provided to her was stripped away? Would she forget Regina? Their past? The uncomfortable thought was accompanied by another, why had Regina never mentioned this? And who was Daniel?

"Oh.. that's a marvelous question", Gold positively beamed. Emma tossed a look in his direction before returning to her absent moon-gazing.

Regina had told her bits and pieces, Snow as well, and from what Emma could tell, neither royal had any inkling of a memory of a stable girl. The stable boy, Daniel, that was who they knew, and the notion that perhaps the memories Emma held weren't real only served to add to her frustration. They absolutely had to be real, or she would start questioning too much else.

"They're real alright. Can't put a fake memory past the Dark One." Expression shifting as she processed again that she was truly the Dark One, Emma rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. There was really only one thing to do from here, and that was ask the one who had lived it. Regina.

How would she pose that though? Would she approach Regina with a convenient basket of apples, as if she didn't already have enough, break the ice with small talk and then proceed to ask if she could root around in her memories? Hardly. Emma would have to go about this carefully, cautiously. If Regina had any clue as to their history, she had certainly never shown it, and that alone left Emma to come to the conclusion that merely asking the woman about her memories was not going to work. Even worse, she could alienate her by revealing something that she wasn't ready to hear. With the love now bubbling through her very core, Emma didn't doubt that a denial from the woman would ruin her, pushing her into the dark irreversibly.

Glancing to the man in the corner who watched her with shining eyes, Emma stood. "Alright. I'm getting answers, and I'm going to figure out what's going on while I still can. Then, I'll find a way to be rid of you for good. Got it?" There, she could please everyone if she tried. Gold raised his hands in mock surrender, though his sly expression read like a man who knew just what was coming.

* * *

Regina slept fitfully, tossing and turning, the night terrors took a firm hold as they had each night for the last week. Since Emma's return, there had been a curious backslide in their relationship. Friendship. The brunette found that Emma was often not where she could have sworn she was a moment ago, and when she was there, the blonde was even more often staring at her with an unreadable expression. Was it hatred? Regina couldn't honestly find an explanation that made sense beyond the darkness attempting to distance her from everyone and anyone that might help her fight to preserve her light.

In her nightmares, Regina was being swallowed up by the darkness, and forced to watch as Emma sacrificed herself all over again. Only this time, in those dreams, she didn't disappear. Instead, when the darkness settled, Emma loomed over her with cold eyes and no heart, immediately reaching and tearing Regina's from her chest and crushing it. But the pain didn't wake her, merely continuing for what felt like forever. It was mental torture of a kind she hadn't been subjected to in years.

Sometimes though, on the very edges of the terror was a flash of light that drew the eye, but vanished before she could take a good look at what it was. That flash came, without fail, barely a second before Regina would wake. She was saved by that flash, and had begun to search for it within the dream, ready to escape from the moment it began.

Standing in the corner of the room, obscured by the shadows, Emma drank in the sight of Regina. She watched the woman writhe in bed, the darkness inside nudging her mind to another reason that Regina might be writhing in bed, and how Emma could involve herself in such activities. She didn't find the will to banish the thought for longer than she would care to admit.

Regina was beautiful, she had grown into something even more fair than Emma had remembered seeing her when they were.. well, when they were young together, even with her face screwed up in pain and fear. A twisted part of Emma, of the Dark One, thought that the presence of her fear only served to make her more beautiful. What would she do to rescue this woman from the pack of lies that were tucked away in her memory?

Anything.

Emma stepped towards the bed with a single stride, restraining herself before she grew closer. No, Emma. Not yet. Not with the darkness in you. Get her to remember, make sure she knows the truth, then when the darkness is gone, you will be able to love again.

"And who says that the Dark One is incapable of love?" Gold's voice came from beside Regina's bed, where he appeared to be watching Regina as well. His hand raised to push a wayward lock behind the sleeping woman's ear, and managed to do so to Emma's surprise. "As long as you have magic, I _can_ use it to touch anything I please." His face was thoughtful more than smug as she approached, daring to come closer if only to protect her Regina, no. Just Regina. From Gold.

"Go away", she hissed, panicking far too quickly to remember that she could think the words and the man would know. The hiss caused Regina to shift in bed, brows drawn together as her lips moved with silent words.

Gold sighed dramatically into the air, looking up at Emma with a growing wicked smirk. "I'll never be far, dearie. Don't forget, I'm in here." He tapped the side of his own head.

I don't care, Emma thought, glaring at the man, who bared his teeth in response before kneeling beside Regina's bed with a mocking pout.

"Aww.. is the widdle stable girl scared that I'll hurt her princess?" He laughed mockingly as Emma bristled at the use of the nickname she had once given to Regina in her own mind. "You're the Dark One, dearie. As am I. We want the same things, your complete and total happiness. And I can tell you, you don't have to give up the darkness just to love. Plenty of Dark One's before you have loved, and possessed more than enough power to actually protect that which we treasure." Gold tilted his head towards Emma. "You're no different, except that you were lucky enough to find your True Love not only once, but twice. How many can boast of that, hm? And if you had never become the Dark One, you never would have regained those oh-so-precious memories. Can you really tell me that you don't believe that this is what fate had in store for the two of you? The _reformed_ Evil Queen and the _good_ Dark One. Isn't it lovely?"

The words dug deeper and deeper as the man spoke beside the sleeping form of Emma's True Love, poking at her thought process. Shaking her head as if to clear it out of thoughts, Emma spoke louder than intended, "Shut up!" The shout startled Regina from sleep who looked up with a groggy, "Emma?"

Then she was gone, the Dark One had vanished, her panic allowing her to summon her magic and escape quickly enough that Regina dismissed the figure she thought she saw as nothing more than a shadow moving across the floor from the branches outside her window.

However, when sleep welcomed her back into its warm embrace, she slept soundly.

" _Come on!" Regina laughed merrily as she ran, glancing back to be sure that her companion was keeping up. With those long legs, Regina had no doubt that she would be utterly incapable of winning the race to their favorite part of the forest, where the trees grew low and created what they had come to affectionately call their 'vacation home' when playing games of pretending that they ran away._

_Brown eyes bright with the simple joy of being with the one she loved, Regina swung out a hand to reach towards the one she loved, only to pull back as her companion drew close. Faceless, a featureless span filled the space where one might find a nose, eyes, lips. The figure darted towards Regina for a hug, only to send the girl running from the unknown stranger who had taken the place of her love, wild with the fear that she would be caught, as well as the fear that she might never again see the happy smile she had come to adore._

* * *

By nine o clock the following night the diner was full to bursting, it felt as if the majority of Storybrooke was cramming itself into the small building, much to Granny's dual delight and horror. Food being eaten by the ton, drinks guzzled by the gallon, between the elder woman and her crimson-inclined granddaughter, service was just barely keeping up with the demands flowing the kitchen. To be fair, it was Granny herself that had called the meeting, an unusual enough event that all who had heard had shown up.

Loud voices fell to a hush as the woman stepped from the kitchen to address all who had gathered, her stern gaze striking the fear of punishment into the hearts of every citizen who had been at the business end of one of her tongue lashings. She might have been called Granny by all, but she was far more than a cuddly cooking old woman.

"I'm sure that most of you know me for my lasagna, and those who knew me in the Enchanted Forest would know me for my tendency to carry a crossbow.. well.. everywhere." There was a collective, rumbling chuckle as Leroy shouted out, "You do that here too!" Granny favored him with a playful scowl as she moved on, "I've called you all here to explain something about our Sheriff, our Savior." Again there was a low hum amongst the crowd, this time nervous and fluttering, making it clear the uncertainty that was rising concerning a certain swan was growing in power by the day. "Above all else, Dark One or no, Emma Swan is one of us. The daughter of our royals, mother to Henry, and friend to most everyone else. I encourage you not to treat her any differently than you would have before, because she deserves our love after everything she's done for us. She needs us now, and we should all support her and her family as we search for a way to make sure she stays our Emma." When Granny stopped, there was the same low hum of discontent, but at a few upbeat comments from those townfolk who had been saved and cared for by the Savior herself without any regard to her own safety, the mood shifted like a wave.

Seated together, Snow, David and Regina exchanged a look, the first giving Emma's hand a pat across the table, hope growing as the commentary continued to slide in Emma's favor. Granny threw a wink and a smile in their direction, bustling back around the counter to settle up tabs with those who were beginning to trickle from the eatery.

"Well, it looks like we nipped the negative outcry in the bud, but there's no guarantee that someone won't get foolishly brave and think they can get rid of the new Dark One to earn a name for themselves." Regina leaned in as she spoke, tilting her head apologetically in Emma's direction where she sat between her and the wall. "Granny is pretty much the only person around who doesn't have any outstanding grudges being held against her, and most people just enjoy her food enough that they would trust her anyway, but that doesn't mean we stop being careful."

Distracted by the feel of Regina's thigh and shoulder pressed to her own, Emma responded without thinking first of how she might sound. "Don't worry. I can take care of myself, I don't plan to let anyone last long enough to get in a lucky punch if they try to start a fight."

"Emma!" Snow admonished her with a look of surprise at the harsh words. The blonde's eyes flickered up to her mother, then away as a twinge of shame hit her.

"Don't let her do that do you. You are who you are! Be proud of it." Gold declared from where he stood just beside the booth, knowing Emma couldn't retort with anything more than a glare, which she delivered darkly.

David reached across the table to take her hand, Emma pulled away sharply, apologizing automatically at the expression of hurt that spread over his face.

"I'm just.. trying to avoid being touched." Emma tugged up her sleeve, revealing a stretch of her inner wrist and the end of what appeared to be a tattoo. A tattoo of her dagger. Regina breathed out in what could've been awe or shock, or a mix of both.

"Oh, Emma.. Is that.." Emma nodded to the unfinished question. "It's my dagger. I decided that the thing itself was a little bulky, so I figured there would be no safer place for it than just under my skin. Or on my skin." She slid the sleeve back into place. "No one will get close enough to get it, and even if they could, you'd have to have some pretty wild magic to get this thing off me."

"I'm fairly certain that you and Regina could make some wild magic if you tried", Gold commented with an unconvincing expression of 'innocence' drawn tight over his ragged gold features. Ignoring him, Emma crossed her arms and sat back, surreptitiously making sure that she kept contact with her princess. No. Regina. This is just Regina. She doesn't remember, don't be stupid. Gold pouted at Emma as she struggled to keep from laying her head against the woman's shoulder. It was so close.. She was so close. And she smelled light and sweet as ever, but now twisted with what Emma could only guess was the magic that had become an integral part of Regina's being.

"I should get back to my research", said Regina as she slid out of the booth seat, much to Emma's chagrin. Her side felt cold with the absence of the other woman, and Emma didn't like it. She could hardly cuddle up to the woman right now, but that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the 'accidental' and 'casual' contact when it just so happened to come about. Really, who would be the wiser?

Bidding farewell to Snow and David, Regina's eyes fell briefly to Emma whom she shot a smile that made the blonde's insides buzz.

Damn. If Emma didn't go through with her plan in just the right manner, she could lose this woman entirely and absolutely. She stroked the dagger that lay just within her flesh, mingled with her blood and veins and cells, eyes following Regina's retreating form. A song lingered within, the dagger crooning its smooth rhythm to Emma with every touch.


	9. Chapter 17+18

_Whispers filled the streets, coming together in a wave of sound both deafening and barely audible. Emma stood dead center, facing the mob that had gathered, her parents' held tight by those citizens of Storybrooke who wanted nothing to do with the Dark One or her rescue. Magic thrummed in her veins, ready and eager to be released in order to save her family from the disgruntled crowd._

" _Don't do this, Emma! You're better than this!" Regina's voice sounded from Emma's right, her eyes snapping to the woman. In a flurry of motion, an arrow streaked towards the brunette, stopped short by the former Queen's magic. The Dark Swan swelled with fury that anyone would dare to aim a weapon at what she deemed her own, fire erupting in her palms and spreading nearly to her shoulders, the flames having no seeming effect on Emma as they licked about her ears._

" _Who did that?" Emma demanded of the crowd in a low voice, but Regina's cry was her only answer. From the arrow's body there spread a shadow, flowing swiftly over the woman's hand and reaching her throat more quickly than Emma's eyes could follow. "No!" Emma smoked to Regina's side in the blink of an eye, but it was already too late, her body had fallen, gray and lifeless._

"Stop it! Just stop it, damn you!" Emma shouted into the midday light of her room, her attempts at meditation once more interrupted by the pictures that Gold continued to project into her mind. It was a trick he had first displayed just hours earlier, as Emma tried out yoga to keep herself calm and to soothe the destructive urges within. Her plan was fairly simple, but the needs inside of the growing darkness wouldn't stop pressing her to shift little details that would somehow end up hurting someone.

She resorted to meditation at Ruby's suggestion. She also might have snapped at the girl that she didn't need help, just some peace and quiet, but she would apologize later. For now, Emma was on the floor at the foot of her bed, legs crossed and eyes closed as she took the deep breaths and counted in her mind as the webpage on meditation she had found suggested. Clearing her thoughts was made difficult by the room's second occupant however, Gold seemed to figure out that when Emma's guard was down, he could make her see whatever he pleased behind her lids. His current amusements were visions of the future that he kept attempting to convince Emma were coming.

Refusing to listen had worked for all of four seconds in the beginning when all he had were words, but when the images began Emma nearly lost her mind. Pushing up from the floor, the blonde rounded on the man where he mocked her cross legged position on her bed, grinning his terrible grin, yellowed teeth making her feel vaguely nauseated.

"What the hell is your problem!?" Emma rubbed at her eyes, sleepy despite the fact that she required no sleep. She had taken it for granted before, and by now even the nights where she managed three or four hours of sweet, restless unconsciousness seemed a blessing. The restlessness she now suffered from was far from sweet, and she was aware of every single damned moment. "I'm just trying to.. god, I don't know, relax!"

Gold scoffed. "You can relax when you're dead, dearie. There's far too much to do for you to sit around with your eyes closed! Just look at everything I accomplished in my time as the Dark One!" Emma rolled her eyes, pinning her companion with a glare.

"Oh please, I know from our _shared_ memories that you spent half of your time spinning straw into gold." Gold lifted a finger with a victorious grin. "Ah! But I was making something of worth, and what are you doing there on the floor? I'd say you're practicing being dead, but that would be rather foolish, wouldn't it?" Hating Gold as she stood, Emma wouldn't admit aloud that she partially agreed. To be honest, she didn't see much point in the meditation either, but after Ruby had spotted an outburst Emma had outside the diner earlier in the day, shouting at the invisible Gold after a particularly disgusting comment concerning Regina, the blonde felt she owed it to her friend to try if only because she promised to keep what she had seen to herself.

"Friends really are such annoyances, aren't they?" Gold sighed with mock sadness. "If only you had the power to erase that girl's memory of your little…episode, then you might not have to worry about her telling anyone." He gasped as if an idea had occurred, but Emma just groaned as she knew what was coming. "Well what do you know!? You _do_ have that power!" Waving a hand in his direction, Emma retreated from the bedroom and slumped into the kitchen to murder a box of chocolate cereal.

"Just be quiet for like, five minutes, for the love of god."

Gold chuckled from his new perch on the kitchen counter. "And which god would that be?"

* * *

Sipping her steaming coffee daintily, Regina flipped the page of the enormous book before her, eyes moving at an agonizingly slow pace over the complicated characters of the magical language in which it was written. Down in her vault, time stood still, lending a calm to Regina's search that she treasured. While she knew from the clock on her phone that she had spent the night and most of the morning reading already, Regina couldn't bring herself to keep from trying her damndest to help her hapless Swan.

Oh boy, her Swan? Regina waved a hand to change the coffee into an expresso, requiring the stronger caffeine immediately to drive away any thoughts of that kind. What was she thinking? Yes, they shared a son, and they had spent more than a few long adventures working together and eventually (usually) being the team that saved the entire town, but 'her Swan'? That might be taking it a bit far.

The scent of magic filled the air as Emma appeared suddenly on the table before Regina, just shy of sitting cross legged on her book. Mid-bite, Emma stared wide eyed at Regina with a large bowl in one hand and a spoonful of Cocoa Puffs in the other. "Uh…"

"Miss Swan!" Regina blurted in surprise. "What the hell are you doing?!" Emma opened her mouth and closed it again like a fish out of water, glancing behind Regina to where Gold was laughing and clapping like a demented child enjoying a clown.

"I.. uh… don't know?" It was question and statement as she set her breakfast aside and slid off of the table, grateful that she had decided to put on pants for her little meditation session. Granted, they were sweatpants and her tank top was old enough that it had more than one or two little patches that were almost worn through, but it was clothing, and Emma was beyond grateful. It was one thing to pop in unexpectedly through a door, but to appear magically from nowhere? Emma gathered herself and tried again. "I'm sorry! I just, uh..", she wanted to explain, but admitting that she was speaking with someone in her head wasn't very appetizing.

"What? You just _what?_ " Regina's arms were folded, a clear signal that she was feeling defensive, one that Emma picked up on without needing to try. The blonde held her hands up in surrender.

"Okay.. just.. listen, okay?" Emma paused to wait for Regina's response and received it, albeit grudgingly, Regina gestured to the chair opposite her and retook her own. "Okay", Emma started again once she was settled. "I need you to keep this between us, okay? I mean.. Ruby might have sort of seen something and might suspect and.. anyway, between us, okay?" Regina lifted a brow as Emma paused once more. "Sorry, yeah. So, when I came to the day after I.. you know, there was.. someone that looked like Gold there as well." Regina was alert then, leaning forward with a concerned expression, which did nothing to help with Emma's belly flopping every which way whenever she came within ten feet of the woman. "Yeah, it's weird, but only I can see him. And he looks all.." Emma gestured to her face and clothes, to which Regina nodded, understanding, "..he's basically the darkness in my head, made to look like Gold, as far as I can tell, but he's mostly just a snide jackass." Regina snorted, "That certainly sounds like him." Emma shrugged. "Anyway, I was trying to meditate earlier and he sort of..got in my head, I guess. So I quit and I promise I was just sitting on the counter with my breakfast. He said something about you and we sort of argued, and I guess my magic.. spasmed?" Emma avoided Regina's gaze for a second, recalling the sexually charged conversation that had caused her to lose control.

Gold grinned behind Regina, winking at Emma, to which she scowled. Regina caught the expression, glancing behind her and back at Emma. "You can see him now?" The question made Emma flush, her ears grew warm as she nodded. Regina looked back down to the tome she had been scouring with a considering look before another thought occurred. "You were speaking about me?"

Emma cursed in her head, Gold couldn't seem to stop grinning at the trouble she was suffering, all because of a minor magical mishap. "Well, yeah. He was just.. He's really annoying." Everything in Emma's body language begged Regina not to ask, but the woman could not contain her curiosity.

"What was he saying?" Regina asked with interest. It might turn out to come in handy, she told herself, knowing what pushed Emma's buttons, or at least knowing what the Dark One side of her had said that set her off so severely that she lost control.

"Just.. stuff", Emma deflected, grabbing for her bowl. "I should just go home. I see I'm bothering you." Regina was far from put off, her interest only growing.

"No, don't be silly. I'm sure you can summon a change of clothes, if you wish, but with the knowledge you have now, I would be glad for some help." Emma wanted to groan, being in a crowd with Regina was hard enough. Being alone with her with Gold making remarks at every opportunity was nearly torture.

"Maybe the Queen would like the idea of torture, hm?" Gold snickered, leaning down until his face was level beside Regina's as he faced Emma. The blonde jumped from her chair, glaring at Gold.

"I need to go." With her bowl in hand, Emma tried to summon her magic, to leave, but something was stuck. It wouldn't flow, the magic refused to bend to her control. "Um.." She glanced down at her arm in mild confusion, the dagger didn't appear to have changed, but the magic was just not working.

"Oh!" Regina said suddenly, standing as well. "I'm sorry. I forgot. Ever since Zelena, I've had a new sort of magical barrier cast over my vault, and several other places. In the public areas it isn't quite as strong, but here, it blocks the magic of any who enter, except for me."

"Like a rat trap", Emma provided, scowling and avoiding Regina's eye.

"Yes", the brunette nodded, "The same basic principle. Magic users can get in, but they can't get out." Her voice softened as she tried again. "Really, Emma, I would appreciate the help. Honestly. This book," Regina smoothed a hand over the page open in front of her, "it's tiring, and it's not the only one."

Emma considered her options. She had no doubt that Regina would let her leave if she insisted, and once outside she could bring herself home easily, but if she stayed, Gold would be fairly powerless to bother her, outside of his running commentary. With her own magic out of commission, he wouldn't be able to affect the outside world, nor project images into Emma's head.

"Alright", she said finally, and Emma imagined that Regina relaxed just a little. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but it made her heart soar. "Where do you want me to start?"

"What she says and what she wants are likely two different things, dearie", Gold murmured beside her with a grin. Emma elected to ignore the man, focusing only on making the woman she loved happy. If she couldn't find any rest for herself, she could at least help Regina.

Hours, and three thick volumes later, Emma rested her forehead on the well preserved leather cover of yet another heavy tome, her head throbbing with the knowledge she had gained that did absolutely nothing to help her situation. Regina noted the forlorn dismay in Emma's slumping shoulders with a small smile.

Gold hadn't made an appearance for at least two and a half hours, which had helped Emma focus on the twisting magical language in which every single book seemed to be written. Unfortunately, Emma hadn't counted on how very boring and dry each book of history would be. God, even _magical_ history did nothing to make her want to learn.

"Why don't we take a lunch break?" Regina suggested into the silence, to which a relieved Emma nodded with a heavy groan.

"How do you read all this stuff? Seriously, I'm the damn Dark One and it's boring as hell." Regina couldn't keep her eyes from rolling at the woman, amazing by how very childish she could be.

"It's important to know the past-"

"-in order to keep it from being the future.. Yeah, yeah, Professor Mills, I get it." Emma sassed, grinning as Regina's scowl wasn't convincing enough to come across as anything but funny. Regina gave a little huff as she straightened out her coat, buttoning it up the front and brushing away imaginary lint.

"Well, Miss Swan, if you were in my class, you'd get an F." Regina retorted, though her lips twitched in what Emma knew would be a smile if the prissy woman would let it loose. With the memories of her past, their past, so much about Regina and her mannerisms fell into place. Emma could understand the little twists in her words, the way she'd lift an eyebrow just so, the inflections that made it now very clear to Emma what Regina was feeling as she spoke. Now, it wasn't perfect, as it had been a great many years between then and now, but with what she knew from their childhood and what she had heard and read, the 'Evil' Queen was less and less of a mystery, and more like an old friend, an old love begging to be rekindled, to be held dear once more.

She would do it. She had already decided, but each moment spent with Regina made patience a harder virtue to keep.

Once outside the vault, Emma transformed her clothes into her customary jeans and red leather jacket, eliciting another eye roll from her princess. The former Queen. Regina. Emma had never quite known why she preferred the jacket, but remembering the similarity it held to the one she had had so long ago made it clearer.

Emma walked close beside Regina as they traversed the bumpy ground, reaching the sidewalk and turning towards the diner. She longed to slip a hand into the other woman's, she swore she could still feel Regina's hand in hers from the moment she had been killed. But of course that was foolish, both thoughts, but she had patience. Sort of. Regina was worth the wait.

As night fell, Emma waited in her home, having declined the invitation to join her parents for dinner at the diner. While appearing in Regina's vault had been an accident, it had turned out to be a fortunate one, as she had learned of the newest enchantment it used as protection. This served as a bit of a trial, to be sure, but gaining knowledge was the first step to victory, and Emma had no plans to lose.

Of all the hearts in Regina's vault, Emma was sure that one gone missing wouldn't be noticed. From the moment that the idea came to her in the hours spent reading that morning, Emma had plotted how to get one of those hearts. It wouldn't have been prudent to attempt to steal one just then. Not only would it look bad in front of the woman she wanted to love her, but Emma would have no way of surreptitiously transporting the thing with her magic temporarily annulled. She wondered idly just how Regina had managed such a powerful spell, and if she could get the woman to show her.

"Or you could just ask me. She did learn that one from me, after all." Gold. Emma sighed, facing the apparition with a blank face, tired but unbothered. It seemed that with a plan in mind, she wasn't quite as annoyed by his appearance. Especially when he decided to be useful.

"Oh yeah?", she mumbled halfheartedly, refusing to let herself be excited until he actually stated he was going to be useful rather than just bragging about what he knew that she didn't.

"Oh yeah", he echoed her words with a grin. "If you spent a little more time listening to me and a little less trying to ignore me, perhaps I'd be inclined to help." Emma took a deep breath, then nodded.

"Fine. Tell me what you know." Gold tsked as he shook a scolding finger at her like one might at a naughty child.

"Manners, my dear. The Dark One always uses their manners." Emma's nostrils flared in annoyance before she grumbled grudgingly, "Please."

Gold grinned like a proud father, putting his hands together. "There we are. Not so hard now, was it?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Sure. Can we just get on with it?" Gold vanished, his voice lingering for a second, more in Emma's thoughts than outside of them, "Follow me." Using her magic with the instincts that came more easily by the day, Emma found herself directly outside of Regina's vault. Cursing lightly, her eyes darted about to make sure no one saw her in the openings between the clusters of trees.

"What are you doing?" Gold asked with a look on his face that said he thought his 'student' had lost her mind. Emma kept her eyes out for bystanders without speaking, leaving Gold to say in a long-suffering tone, "You'd sense it if anyone else were here." Idiot. The word went unspoken, but it was obvious the man meant it.

"Well.. fine. Whatever. What now?" Gold gestured to the mausoleum that served as the entrance to Regina's vault.

"Lesson one. To learn a spell, it's good to start by learning its weaknesses. For example, if you were to enter the vault by non-magical means, your magic would be unaffected by the enchantment." The weakness came as a surprise, Emma would have assumed that Regina would be cleverer than that. Gold chuckled.

"Oh, I'm certain that's not the only enchantment here. In fact, she probably has a number of enchantments, but it's so much fun to be surprised, why don't we just dive in and see what happens?"

Emma shook her head, examining the building before shooting a scowl at Gold. "No way. If she becomes aware of what I'm doing so early, it's going to be pretty damn hard to succeed. If you don't have any more useful information than that, I'm going home." Gold approached her in the blink of an eye and gripped her throat with a strong hand that felt all too real, hissing in Emma's face, "I'm getting very tired of your lip and your _doubts._ " Despite the knowledge that the man really couldn't kill her seeing as he existed only in her mind, it was still pretty terrifying to have him so close and so infuriated, glaring her down as if she were a bug under his foot.

In another blink he was again several paces from her, the sudden loss of contact had Emma stumbling and rubbing at her throat. "Now" Gold continued as if nothing had happened. "Ladies first."

Regina writhed in bed, far from the first time this week she had suffered from nightmares, Emma observed.

It was a marvel to the blonde even after a week of watching over her princess while she slept, after the memory of years living alongside the woman in Storybrooke, how very much and very little the royal had changed. Her fire, once blazing pure and full of the love she gave so freely, hadn't been extinguished, merely twisted and only recently had it been allowed to again flow in the way it so preferred. Those eyes that Emma could have watched for hours, and did on more than one occasion, still gleamed like two swirling vortexes of pure magic, albeit darkened and hardened by time. She had filled out and appeared at least a little stronger than the slight thing that had helped Emma to muck out stables and haul hay, her face losing the softness the blonde remembered in favor of angles that did their best to hide any remainder of a curve. But it was there in sleep, tanned cheek rounded as she relaxed between grimaces. Emma longed to stroke that singular curve, but she restrained herself, content that the plan she had formed would bring the woman back to the truth oh so very soon.

It had taken two full nights of work, the second of which nearly got Emma caught by the old caretaker of the graveyard on which Regina's mausoleum sat, but she had maneuvered through each enchantment that protected the vault. Gold, though sarcastic and ridiculously annoying, was actually a great help when he wanted to be. The blonde could count on one hand the number of spells that had caught her by surprise, and those were fairly minor. She suspected the man allowed these to strike her intentionally from the way he cackled as she was slammed into a wall more than once. But those that might have truly injured Emma, or alerted Regina to the Dark One's intrusion, were brought to her attention by her guide with an inhuman speed and accuracy.

"Soon.." Emma murmured as she tested her willpower by sidling to the edge of the bed. A hand ghosted over Regina's cheek, a hair's breadth from warm flesh. "Careful", came the warning from her invisible companion, for once content to observe without interference. "She's hardly going to react well if she wakes up to you in her room. Not now, in any case." Emma's hand continued on its dreamy path, just barely not touching the face she held most dear.

I know, she responded silently, I have no intention of waking her. Gold nodded with a satisfied expression, all too aware of what the darkness had been trying to convince Emma into doing.

It wasn't overtly harmful really, what she had done so far, it might have even been fun for the girl whose heart now belonged to the Dark One. Hell, it was like playing dress up, but on steroids. One week ago, when Emma had finally broken through Regina's various wards and spells and broken into her vault, she had one thing in mind. A heart. She could certainly have gone and acquired one for herself, she had the power, but the thought of pushing her hand into another's chest and removing that oh-so-crucial organ reminded her a little too much of the very painful death that she could now remember all too clearly.

Besides, why go slaughter the cow when McDonald's was right next door?

The heart Emma stole belonged to a woman who had been some sort of dressmaker in the Enchanted Forest, at least from what Emma gathered from a quick conversation. The dressmaker lived with her sister, but they rarely saw each other and tended to be out of the house and then home again on a nearly opposite schedule. It was perfect as far as Emma could see, for the girl had been without her heart for a great many years, and so there would be no noticeable difference in her behavior, nor would she see anyone very close to her who might note even a tiny change.

Far from wishing to hurt the girl, Emma intended to return her heart after her part was done, and even said so. Granted, she then erased the dressmaker's memory, but she still meant to keep her word. Emma tasked the girl with something simple to begin with, something that she hoped might give her a sign as to whether Regina truly couldn't remember Emma, or if she was pretending, for whatever awful reason, not to remember their shared history. With a wave of her hand, Emma transfigured the girl to resemble her, a young Emma complete with clothing similar enough to what she had worn so long ago, but modernized. She sent the girl off, magical disguise in place, and followed her with a cloaking enchantment shielding Emma from any other eyes.

Emma timed it perfectly so that the girl would be walking past Town Hall just as Regina left for her customary lunch. It was her hope to catch the royal's eye, maybe even to have her stop the disguised dressmaker and then worry over her own confusion.

But nothing of the sort happened. Regina strode past the girl as if she didn't see her, leaving Emma scowling and the dressmaker glancing back to where she knew the Dark One was likely watching. The following day had been a repeat, as Emma thought perhaps Regina had just been distracted. After all, she hadn't been sleeping well. But again, nothing.

The next day Emma stepped up her game, fashioning the girl into an exact copy of her young self, right down to the oversized jacket and even the hat that her old self had used to keep her gender a secret from all eyes but Regina's. Frustration became a close friend as two days of this produced no new results. Emma thought maybe she was being stubborn, maybe she was refusing to acknowledge anything from the far off past, but a greater part of the Dark One was just scared. Scared that she might be the one with the false memories, scared that Regina might never remember if it were even true, and scared that maybe, just maybe, Regina would prefer to remember someone that wasn't her.

On day five, Emma allowed the dressmaker to remain home, switching tracks. Research consumed day five down in Regina's vault, and by day six she came to find just what she needed.

Regina might not remember her, might not know her for who she was, but there was someone who did, someone whose disgust still stung so many years later.

Cora.

In one of Regina's books Emma found the details for a ritual resembling a séance, similar to that time before, when they had used the candle to bring back Cora, receiving a fresh faced young woman. That wasn't what Emma required, and that certainly wasn't what she was going to receive.

The ritual was far from easy however, and as dearly as she needed to complete it, there were complications that she couldn't bring herself to imagine doing just yet. Not when she was convinced that there had to be another way.

She'd taken to watching Regina at night, it was a _productive_ way to pass the night, and it calmed Emma's thoughts. With her eyes on the sleeping woman now, ears filled with the whispered temptations of the darkness, the blonde's lips moved in an almost murmur.

"What do I do, Regina? I can find out the truth, I can find out just what happened to you, or to me maybe. But it's not pleasant.." Her fingers toyed with almost contact where they lingered above Regina's mussed hair. "There's no other choice that I can see. Time travel was complicated, and god only knows what I might mess up, even if I could find a way to do it. This isn't much easier, but the risks are so much less.."

Regina mumbled in her sleep, Emma imagined it was an answer. Wishful thinking. Sighing low and retreating, there was regret in the Dark One's eyes. "I can't just leave it, not while I have the power to do something."

"Then stop stalling, dearie", Gold spoke from nearby, sly and knowing. Emma didn't jump, feeling the presence of her mentor before he spoke. Looking up to him with an expression that was trying its best not to appear conflicted, Emma stiffened.

I have time, she retorted inwardly, to which he chuckled. "The longer you wait, the longer you spend without your prize." Emma bristled at the insinuation that Regina was nothing more than something to be won. She was perfection, broken and beautiful perfection leaking a pain that Emma wanted to vanish.

"You're not going to help her any by allowing her to continue thinking her first True Love is gone forever." Gold was right, Emma knew, but it made her heart cringe to think of the action she would need to take in order to make her princess aware of the truth.

Her thoughts jumbled before steadying out with another sleepy mumble from Regina. She had time to figure out a better way, and she would do so for the sake of the damaged woman before her. And in the meantime, she would take the time she could spend with the woman as a privilege. Who knew, maybe she could even convince Regina of her worth before the memories came to truly remind her of who Emma was, and what they meant to one another.

* * *

Morning brought Regina spare time for the first time in days, time she elected to spend in her vault, searching for a way to separate Emma from the darkness. It was more than a project, it was an absolute necessity, one that consumed her thoughts whether she was down in the vault or in a budget meeting with the city council. Annoyance nagged at the edges of her thoughts, displeasure mounting at the idea that Emma was taking up so much of her time and energy.

Yes, she had saved her, like the foolish hero she was, and yes, Regina was grateful beyond words, but the task before them was so great, so seemingly impossible, that her only response was anger. And with that anger, the reformed Regina was able to resort only to being annoyed, unrelentingly sarcastic and biting to any who dared come near. Sound sleep had evaded her for more than a few nights, leaving her exhausted in the morning, and her days dragged on as the town inevitably needed to be managed, exhaustion once again lagging at her heels by the time afternoon came.

It was a difficult situation to say the least.

If the royal had been paying closer attention, perhaps she would have taken note of the way the books on her table had shifted, several new ones taking the place of those that were there before. But the long days and restless nights had taken a heavy toll, leaving her unobservant and irritated as she scanned through one of many magical books lining every surface of her sanctuary.

"Regina", Emma spoke from the doorway, the aforementioned woman's gaze lurched to the blonde intruder. Dissatisfaction curdled in Regina's belly as she snapped, "What are you doing here?" Taken aback by the clearly unhappy response, Emma held her hands up in mock surrender, "I just saw that you weren't at your office, so I thought you'd be here. I was thinking you might want my help again."

Regina was having none of the woman and her presence, despite the fact that it was all for her that she was running herself into the ground.

"I'm really quite tired at the moment, I'd rather be alone." Emma's eyes had already taken in the shadows clinging beneath the woman's eyes, deciding before Regina's dismissal that she was going to stay.

"Are you sure?" Emma asked, taking a small step into the room. "I could get started on the books in the other room." While help sounded, frankly, sort of wonderful, Regina had already made up her mind and wasn't in the habit of changing it.

"I told you to go away."

The injured expression Emma wore might have drawn regret from a well rested Regina, but this one had no interest in company or apologizing. Brows furrowing, the blonde's shoulders slumped. "Oh. Uhm, okay, I guess." That was easier than Regina had hoped for, actually allowing a little regret and shame to slink into her chest and gut, but Emma was gone then, turned away by the harsh words.

Running her fingers through her hair in a self-soothing distraction, Regina returned her attention to her book, focused on finding that which would allow her rest once more.

Emma stopped when she was out of Regina's sight, then peeked around the corner to assure herself that the royal was back to her books. Taking quiet steps to the room lined with drawers and the book that she had hidden away there where she guessed Regina wouldn't think to look, Emma's decision was made for her by the obvious stress that edged the brunette's every expression and word. She would bring back the memories that Regina deserved, the truth, and with them Emma would be able to heal a wound in the woman's heart so much older than Storybrooke. And perhaps with that old wound sealed, the woman would find it within her to forgive Emma for what she had been forced to do in order to regain those precious memories.

* * *

Across town, the dressmaker gripped at her throat, then her chest, choking as she struggled for air. She attempted to call out, but even had she been successful there would have been nothing for it, as her sister wouldn't return for hours. She would have retribution, she swore, her true self leaking around the edges, shining through her eyes as Death came to claim her.

Swathed in gentle shades of grey ranging from near black to the brightest cream, the feminine form that appeared from somewhere just beyond the dressmaker's range of vision unfolded a hand, reaching towards the soul on the floor, still struggling for life. Death shuddered in the presence of the unnatural, of the ancient, the bound one. Drawing back, though her task was yet incomplete, Death was pinned with a stare brighter than the sun, light cutting through her incorporeal form.

Death would not have her prize today, and if the being who fought Death had anything to say about it, neither would the Dark One.

Emma's hand shook under the shaking, Earth-shattering force that emitted from the heart she had just attempted to use as sacrifice, to summon Death and demand an audience with one of the deceased. A bright light the likes of which Emma had never seen blasted through the darkness and brought to the woods a clarity not even the light of day could provide.

Dread was automatic as the heart burst into stardust, very much not the reaction that Emma had been expecting. From the look of terror on Gold's face, a man who really had nothing to fear seeing as only Emma could see, hear or feel him, what was coming was far worse than the Dark One herself.


	10. Chapter 19+20

Emma Swan was fucked. Royally, thoroughly fucked. This was not the kind of fucked in which one could even ride out the consequences, this was the kind of fucked that meant that Emma Swan was probably better off preparing her will now and worrying about what might happen to her in her afterlife. But of course, she was the Dark One, and giving up just wasn't in her nature. Unfortunately, Rumplestiltskin was mirroring her panic, his hands wringing together and eyes wide as he muttered to himself. It wasn't helping Emma at all and at this moment pretty much anything that was a fucking goddess out to kill her would be a help.

A goddess.

Though Rumple was currently virtually useless as he mumbled incoherently to himself, the newest Dark One had gotten out of him that she had made the incredibly unfortunate mistake of going after a heart that was protected by an actual real life goddess. A force of nature older than time itself. Hell, she created time, according to Rumple. It was not comforting to Emma Swan in the least. She hadn't moved from the forest, deeming it better that she stay away from people, the small remaining part of her that was the Savior wanting to keep the townspeople safe, along with the people she loved.

"This was _your_ idea!" Emma finally exclaimed at the pacing Rumple, her panic making her voice crack. "This is all your fault!" Rumple froze where he was, his eyes going dark as he rounded solidly on Emma.

" _My_ fault?" he hissed dangerously, making Emma swallow. " _I_ wasn't the one who picked out the _one_ heart in that hole that was protected by a _goddess_." His tone, though steady, was low and slithered through Emma's body like a snake. "If you had _any_ sense at all, you would have checked out the magical seal on the thing and made damn sure _it was safe._ " Breathing faster, Emma began pacing again, eyes so wide it hurt. Adrenaline was driving her up the figurative wall, and she had no idea how to calm it.

"Are you kidding me? I didn't even know that that was a thing! Much less that I needed to check for it!" Emma clutched at her head, fingers gripping at her hair and threatening to tear it out.

"Emma Swan." From behind came an ethereal voice, the voice of the dressmaker overlaid with something both dark and light, deep and high, in her head and all around all at once. Emma spun on her heel to face the woman she had tried to sacrifice, but it wasn't quite her anymore. Trembling down to her cells, Emma couldn't stop the small whimper that fell from her lips as the dressmaker stood calmly, another figure surrounding her like an aura. It was as if she was standing inside the ghost of a tall, bronze woman whose eyes were fixed unforgivingly on the blonde.

"Oh god." Emma's voice was nonexistent, the words a squeak as she faced what she was sure would be her doom. All the feeling left her limbs and if not for the hand that shot out to enter her chest, she would have fallen. The hand stilled within her, not gripping at her heart, merely holding her in place. The tall ghost of a woman leaned down to look Emma straight in the face, her features elegant and cruel.

"You've made a terrible mistake, Dark One." Emma couldn't breathe, it was a good thing she technically didn't have to. Terror had erupted in her and erased all other instincts but staying still and blinking. "Why did you steal the heart of this girl?" As the blonde remained unable to answer for a long moment, the goddess grew impatient with the silent Emma and lifted her other hand to her head, plunging it in just as she had the hand in her chest. However, this hand sifted through Emma's mind with an agonizing slowness, allowing the goddess to watch her memories like a Friday night drama, her expression growing darker as she did so. "So…" she murmured, her voice cutting through and drowning out all else despite the nearly inaudible volume, "You were not the one that stole this heart, merely a parasite who decided to take advantage." As swiftly as she had appeared, the goddess was gone, the intent in her voice leaving no question as to her destination. With the first breath she was able to pull, Emma groaned, "Regina."

Feeling as if the life had been drained out of her, Emma struggled to her feet. As she made to summon her magic and go after Regina however, Rumple appeared before her eyes with a serious, severe look fixed on his face. "Don't be stupid. Trying to save the Queen now will get you killed."

"I won't let her die", Emma growled, narrowing her eyes at the man. He grit his teeth in utter frustration, huffing at the blonde.

"So you're going to get _yourself_ killed along with her? You're not using your brain! You're the Dark One, have some sense!"

"She's _mine_!" The ferocity in Emma's tone surprised even her but she gave no further thought to it. Someone was threatening the girl she had crossed lifetimes to find, and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to do everything she could to save her. Vanishing from her spot, the Dark One shoved the warnings of her 'mentor' aside and directed her thoughts to Regina.

Emma's sudden appearance in the vault startled Regina, but the question died in her throat when she saw the woman's expression. Something wasn't right.

"What is it?" Regina asked firmly. Emma swallowed before answering in a low voice, "You're in a hell of a lot of trouble, and I don't know if I can save you." The look on Regina's face went from demanding information to concern and just as quickly to determination. Emma's heart swelled. God, she loved this woman.

"What's coming?" Regina recognized Emma's tensed stance for the defensive position it was, closing the book before her. "Can we take it?" Emma thought quickly, snapping her fingers as she looked at Regina.

"Something bad. I'll explain later. Do you trust me?"

"Yes", Regina answered, slowly but surely. The Dark One didn't know how badly she had needed to hear those words until they fell from Regina's lips. Filing those feelings for later, Emma took Regina's hand. God, it felt nice, even under these circumstances.

"When I say, get us out of here. You still have your enchantment up, right? The rat trap one?" Bewildered for a moment, Regina then caught on and nodded.

"Yes, it's up. Just say-"

"Now, go!" The goddess had appeared in all her furious glory, eyes going from Regina to Emma and then to where their hands linked. A feral snarl took her face as Regina's magic pulled them through space and out of there, the last sight flashing before Emma the intention to do harm that lived deep within the goddess's old eyes. This wasn't over, but as the woman appeared in Regina's office, Emma felt as if she could breathe again. With the kind of power the goddess held, the vault wouldn't hold her for long, but the blonde would take any little bit of time she could.

"Emma, you can let go now", Regina tugged her hand from Emma's death grip, obvious discomfort on her face. Though it was the last thing she wanted, Emma released her with a slight wince of apology. Regina massaged her hand and inspected the Dark One with careful, if a bit suspicious, eyes. "What did you do?"

"I-" Emma's hands lifted palm up in a show of helplessness as all of her Dark One abilities failed to assist her in this particular instance. She knew they didn't have the time to waste, but how could she tell this woman that the majority of her past had been a lie? How could she face it if her _own_ memories were the falsehood here?

"Tell me, quickly. That enchantment is strong, but I doubt it would hold anything that could scare the Dark One for very long." Regina's show of simple intuition made Emma smile, even if there was nothing to really smile about. Confusing Regina with her expression, Emma made the decision to blurt out what she could, while she could, seeing as there was a goddess coming after Regina that likely wanted Emma's head now too.

"I love you, Regina", Emma stated plainly, noting that amongst the shock blossoming on Regina's face, there was no true rejection. Not yet, anyway. "I love you and I have for so long. Since we were kids." Now Regina was shaking her head, a disturbing mix of denial and confusion painting her face.

"What are you…? I didn't know you when I was a child, Emma. There's something wrong here."

"No, no!" Emma shook her head, stepping closer and taking Regina's hands. "I was the stable girl! Well, everyone thought I was the stable _boy_ , but you knew the truth and we loved each other!" Startled by Emma's sudden approach, Regina shifted back, shaking her head as a pained expression began to dominate the confusion.

"You're wrong, Emma. Our stable boy was named Daniel, and he wasn't you." Emma began to panic as Regina denied the truth with a look of pain and pity.

"No! That's a fake memory and I bet you anything that Cora put it there!" Emma put a hand to her chest, wishing that she could still cry. "She _killed_ me, Regina, but I came back. I came back for you!"

"No!" Regina shouted back, Emma reached out and grasped at empty air as she avoided her grip.

"Regina, please!" Faster than even Emma could move, the goddess appeared from nowhere, seething as she took hold of Regina and disappeared. Again Emma grasped at empty air, but this time new hopelessness seized her. An anguished cry tore from her throat as her magic burst in a wave of darkness and decay that swept from Town Hall and through Storybrooke at the speed of thought.

\-----

**Trigger warning: Mentions of violence/rape/death**

* * *

"You stole what was mine." The voice was a whisper at the edges of Regina's range of hearing, and yet directly beside her ear. The fact that it woke her was the first thing that informed her that she had been forced into unconsciousness. The second came when she made to move her body and found that she could not. Eyes snapping open, Regina surveyed her surroundings, her stomach sinking as she found herself somewhere all too familiar. The stench of metal struck her as hard as the memories, memories of being strapped down just as she currently was, electricity forced through her body until she felt as if her dearest wish was only that the next jolt would kill her.

Movement from beside her drew Regina's eye, panic settling in in earnest when Tamara grinned down at her maliciously, then gripped her chin with one hand. Only when Tamara's face shifted into Greg's and then into Hook's did Regina recall that she had been grabbed by an unknown force that even Emma seemed to fear. Emma.. Her words echoed in Regina's ears until the still shifting figure settled on a face she didn't know, graceful and catlike, the eyes dark and deeper than the former Queen cared to imagine. This was very bad.

"Who are you?" Regina attempted to keep her voice steady, needing knowledge to ground her in some way. She was back at the place of her most recent nightmares, with a figure who was all too happy to dredge up the faces that had tortured her to the edge of insanity and very nearly destroyed her completely. The chuckle that came from beside her was both deep and high pitched, sounding simultaneously like a woman and a child.

"I am someone you've wronged." The hand gripping her face softened to trace fingers along her jaw. "But you've wronged so many, you probably have no idea who I am anyway. Isn't that right, Regina?" Regina steeled herself, keeping her eyes on the other woman, she could see that she was a woman now, closing herself to the emotional attack she felt was brewing. So far the woman had plucked her worst nightmare from her memory along with her name and past deeds. It was a sure bet that it would be used against her in a much fouler manner than mere pageantry. The ethereal laugh came again, biting and cold. "I'm so far in your head, you would have to die to rid yourself of me", the goddess crooned, proving to the prone woman that she could not only read her memories, but her thoughts as well.

"What do you want with me?" This time Regina faltered, her voice shaking. She was exposed in every way possible.

"Not every way possible, _dear._ Not yet _._ ", came the purred answer to Regina's thought, the hand gliding down from jaw to tease along the low cut line of her blouse. Regina shuddered again. She had done terrible things in her former life, and she could only imagine that those things were about to be visited upon her in kind. "I'm not only going to hurt you, Regina." The woman confirmed her fears with an idle statement, bringing her face close to the royal's. "I'm going to break you. I'm going to tear you into small pieces and scatter them to the wolves, while being certain that you live until you reach their digestive tracts at the very least. I'm going to string you up with your innards, and allow the birds to devour you alive", the goddess promised in a soft voice, as if speaking to a lover. "I'm going to rape your body, mind and soul until you cannot believe that you still exist, until you want nothing but the blackness of death. I'm never going to release you from this place, stopped between seconds. You are going to live in this hopeless, excruciating moment for an eternity, begging for a release that will never come."

All Regina could do was tremble, that awful voice both beautiful and terrifying becoming her world. "Why?" she choked out after a pause in which she had forgotten to breathe. If there was something beyond terror, she was currently experiencing it, and she had no doubt at all that the woman beside her would carry out each and every promise.

"Because you took what was mine", the goddess growled, digging her fingers into Regina's chest without mercy, drawing blood without hesitation. Regina cried aloud, the pain worse than she felt it should be as vicious nails penetrated her flesh and created five small divots that bled freely when the woman pulled her hand away. Keeping her eyes locked to Regina's and with a savage grin, the goddess drew each blood tipped finger to her lips and cleaned it thoroughly, blood staining her lips a faint scarlet. "I'm going to kill you, but I'm never going to let you die. Prepare to be unwound, Regina."

Jolts of electricity erupted at Regina's temples, ripping through her body with more intensity than she felt she should be able to bear. Every joint screamed for mercy as the sensation of stretching overtook her. Her insides burned as if they had become lava, threatening to fire their way straight through her body and down to the Earth's core.

"Do you feel it?" the goddess hissed. "Do you feel the pain you caused all those innocents?" Regina's only answer came in the form of shrieks that were swiftly losing volume as her vocal cords began to wear out. "Maybe this isn't enough for you", came the murmur beside one ear. "And look at this… Such a great many blocks in this mind. What sort of memories are you running from, Regina?" The Queen was close to losing consciousness, and some part of her mind that was still able to form a thought mused that she was quite strong for staying conscious for this long already while being subjected to this ridiculous intensity. "Ah, ah, ah", said the goddess, pulling the pain to a halt immediately. "You aren't going to get off so easily." Regina had never realized how good it felt just to be. Not to be under a hand inflicting pain. She felt a new appreciation for life in the second before the goddess removed every single block in her memory.

The tears came before she could catch her breath, an agonized howl ripping from her lips as every lost moment replayed at once. Emma in the stable, Emma in the forest, Emma on a horse, Emma and her beautiful blonde locks, Emma kissing her, Emma with her mother's hand in her chest, Emma dying on the floor, Emma, Emma, Emma. It hadn't seemed possible that anything could hurt worse than the torture but this was a new kind of pain. This was worse than Daniel. This was knowing that the truest love she had ever had was so close to her all along and now it was lost forever. This was regret of the deepest sort and sorrow knowing that she wasn't going to make it out of this alive. At least, not with her sanity. This was knowing that the end had come and that eternity had been so close. So close.

Emma's heart thumped and real tears sprang to her eyes. She hadn't been aware that she was able to cry anymore, but here was the undeniable proof as the shadow of pain and longing and agony ghosted through her where she stood. Regina had vanished less than a second before and this feeling within did not belong to Emma. The blonde could only assume that a rudimentary connection had been formed and all she could do was follow where it led. The magic tore her apart, compacting and expanding her body until she could no longer tell what her body was. Her surroundings were dark and blinding and everywhere and nowhere and the only anchor she was provided was the tug just behind her heart that whispered, 'Regina'.

Regina.

"Take me! Take me instead!" Emma screamed into the void, hoping her body could still form words. Bright light invaded her every sense, searing her to the core of her being. She became aware of pain that was not hers, growing with every heartbeat. The taste of anguish on her tongue drew her near, and then she was still. Once again on solid ground, the shrieks of the dying piercing her eardrums. As she drew her first breath the shrieks stopped abruptly, followed by significantly quieter, helpless sobbing. Following the sound brought Emma to a form strapped to a table in what the blonde suddenly recognized as the Storybrooke Cannery, but something wasn't right. It was too still.

"Regina!" Emma cried out as she recognized the woman, her heart leaping. The brunette cringed away when she reached for her, begging not to be touched. "Please", she sobbed, broken. "Please stop. Please go away. You're not Emma." With the words, Emma's heart shattered, her hesitation drawing whimpers from the woman on the table. "It's been so long. So long. Just kill me, I'm sorry. Please, please kill me." Emma didn't know what to do with the shell of a woman begging for death before her. She had been gone for less than a minute and already she was reduced to this. What had happened and how could she save her?

"You _can't_ save her, Dark One." The goddess's slinky, doubled voice came from all around, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"What did you do!?" Emma screamed into the abyss, whirling around and searching for the source of the voice.

"Haven't you figured out why the world feels wrong here?" Emma turned, finding the goddess leaning against a pillar seductively, her eyes burning. Emma had known there was something off and here was confirmation. "We're stopped in time, Dark One, lingering in the space between the ticks of a clock", the goddess provided before Emma needed to ask. The horrible realization struck Emma and the goddess laughed as horror painted itself on her face as clear as day. "Yes, that's right. You understand now."

"Stopped…in time", Emma couldn't stomach it, couldn't say it. But the goddess could. She stepped to Regina, still quivering on the table and begging incoherently. She brushed a hand over the woman's hair in what might have been a motherly gesture had Regina not burst into terrified cries at the faintest contact. Chuckling like someone looking at a funny pet, the goddess bent to kiss Regina's pale cheek, eliciting further whining, begging, crying and general horror. She flicked her gaze up to Emma and smiled like the cat that got the cream. "We've been at this for _decades._ "

Emma's breathing stopped entirely, her mind was not equipped to deal with this, and she was but a mere witness. She couldn't imagine the hell that Regina had experienced. "Take me", Emma repeated shakily. "Take me in her place. I'm the one who killed the girl to achieve my own selfish ends. It's my fault." The fear bit deeper with every word she spoke, but Emma had to press on. The goddess appeared to consider the request, making a show of tapping her finger against her chin. When she made a decision, it was clear by the awful expression that she adopted.

"Fine. I'll make you a deal." Emma leapt on the chance, clinging to it with both hands. "What is it?" she asked quickly, "Anything." The goddess had her and she knew it. "I will take you Dark One." Breathing failed again as Emma looked to Regina, seeing her future. She nodded. "Deal."

The sound of a clap boomed through the cannery and then everything felt right again. The goddess waved towards Regina with a dismissive air. "She can go. I'll take my payment in a week to allow the chance that the girl you tried to kill was not provided. You may settle the matters of your life." With a cruel laugh she was gone.

All the strength left Emma's body with the goddess's disappearance and, wondering why the goddess had granted her time, she leaned heavily against the table on which Regina lay. The desperate sobbing had reduced to sniffles, though Regina had shuffled to the edge of the table farthest from Emma.

* * *

"What on Earth happened to her?" Pain filtered through Snow's tone as she watched the sleeping woman in the hospital bed, standing a bit back as if Regina might break. Emma was slumped in the chair beside Regina's bed, head on one hand as she kept a close eye on the brunette. Getting her from the cannery had been a trick. Due to the trauma of continuous torture, anytime Emma drew near she was overcome with fits of terror, unable to even recognize who it was that was approaching. After some time Emma had been forced to sedate her with magic before bringing her to the hospital, where they settled her into a bed with fluids and an actual mild sedative.

"I did." Snow looked to Emma in surprise, horror and confusion. "I didn't do it to her, but I was the cause", Emma answered the unspoken question in her mother's eyes. The woman placed a soothing hand on Emma's shoulder, shaking her head.

"I'm sure that's not true." Emma's expression twisted into helpless anger born from incredible guilt.

"Oh, are you? I stole a heart from her vault and tried to use it to summon Death. But the heart I grabbed was protected by a goddess. She came after me first, then saw in my memories that Regina was the one who originally stole the heart, and then went after her." Emma was gaining steam, fueled by Snow's horror at the thought that her daughter could do such a thing, Dark One or no. "The goddess took Regina to the cannery, where Tamara and Greg kept her, and then tortured her after stopping time so she could do it forever. She was there for decades before I showed up. Nonstop torture. Decades."

"Emma…" Snow breathed the blonde's name. "Why would try and summon Death? What could be worth doing something so dangerous?" Emma dropped her head into her hands, mumbling something about how Snow wouldn't understand. After all, she probably remembered Daniel instead of Emma too. She had never indicated differently. The rustle of sheets brought the attention of both woman to the bed, where Regina was beginning to stir. Emma had been adamant that Regina not be tied down, though she did place a barrier around the room so that the woman could not perform any magic that might hurt someone out of fear.

"Regina.." Emma fought her urge to grasp the woman's hand. She didn't want to send her into a panic over physical touch all over again. Due to the sedative, Regina's reactions were slowed, but panic still flared in her eyes at first waking. She looked around wildly, taking in her surroundings like a cornered animal. Blinking quickly, her breathing coming faster, Regina began to mumble about tricks and false hopes. "Regina", Emma tried again. It was killing her not to reach out.

Regina's eyes flashed and immediately filled with tears. Her breathing began to even out as she ran her fingers over the hospital bed sheets, then up to her face before she looked at Emma. "Is this..", her voice was ragged. "Am I real? Is this real?" Emma nodded quickly, a wide smile spreading across her face as Regina's expression grew ever more certain. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks. "I.. I can't believe it." Emma reached a slow hand towards her, but Regina flinched away with an automatic whimper. "Please don't hurt me", Regina's words tumbled together. Shaking her head, Emma cursed herself, drawing her hand back immediately.

"I would never. I wouldn't." Panic shot through Regina again, hands balling into fists at her chest.

"You did. She did." Regina squeezed her eyes shut, retreating back into herself and clutching her head. "She was you. You were her. They were them. Oh god, it hurts." Emma exchanged a worried look with Snow.

"Regina, you're safe now. I promise. No one is going to hurt you anymore." Regina hugged her arms tight around her body, lips moving in an inaudible stream of words. Emma itched to hug her, comfort her, but she didn't doubt that Regina would just flinch away again. "I'm going to protect you", she said firmly, then stood. Regina didn't appear to have noticed.

At the door a knock announced the arrival of a doctor that was absolutely not Whale. Emma didn't have the patience to deal with that man at the moment. The doctor held a clipboard and a fair amount of concern on his face. "What is it? Is she going to be okay?" Snow asked as Emma stepped over to them, one eye still on Regina as she held herself and mumbled.

"Well", the doctor hesitated. "Physically, she's going to be fine. There is evidence that she's been suffering from some radically high levels of stress for quite a while now, but other than that her body is fairly undamaged. It's hard to say what is happening mentally before I do a full exam." Emma scowled.

"So examine her."

"An interview with the patient is only half the exam. Observation is generally the other half, and in this case," he gestured to Regina, "I'd like to keep her here for a while in order to assess her condition properly." Emma's scowl didn't waver, but she nodded. This was to be expected. As dearly as she wanted Regina home, the Dark One was hardly going to be a very good psychiatrist. Not to mention that she'd be gone in a week. Six days, she corrected herself mentally. Regina had been unconscious for the majority of the first day.

Giving the doctor a stern look, Emma said, "I'm staying here as long as she is." The doctor looked as if he wanted to argue, but as he made eye contact with Emma, the fight seemed to drain from him. "Fine." He made a note on his clipboard and bid the women farewell before rushing from the room. Successfully intimidating the man gave Emma little pleasure though, not when the woman she loved was laid up in bed because of something she had done.

"It's not your fault, Emma." Snow was at it again. The blonde's eyes closed as she worked to control her urge to smack the other woman. "It's hers. Or at least, the her that she was back then." Snow was pleading with her eyes when opened her own to look at her again. A part of Emma recognized that Snow was trying to comfort her. It wasn't working.

"If I hadn't been so selfish, I wouldn't have ended up bringing the one here who did this to her." Snow paused, looking thoughtful, her brow furrowed.

"Why were you trying to summon Death, Emma?" It was the question that Emma both expected and dreaded, because with it came the obligation to explain that a large chunk of her mother's past was false. That and the fact that she had been the one to get Emma killed so long ago. How would she react? The darker parts of Emma's mind chuckled, and the blonde noted for the first time that she hadn't seen the manifestation of the Dark One in her mind in some time. That was unusual. "Emma?" Snow repeated her name when no answer was forthcoming.

"I wanted to bargain to speak to Cora." Snow's eyes went wide. "Why would you even think about calling that woman back from the dead?" Snow asked incredulously. "She tried to kill you and all of us more than once!" Emma closed her eyes as she continued, "I believed that she had messed with Regina's memories, and I wanted to get them back."

"Memories?" Snow wondered aloud. "How would you even know? What memories?" At this Emma opened her eyes again to meet Snow's.

"Memories of me."

"That doesn't explain anything, Emma." Snow was confused and growing even moreso as Emma 'explained'. But Emma didn't have the time for Snow to come around gradually, and let spill the truth.

"It was me, mom. The stable boy that Cora killed. Stable girl. That was me, and Cora erased Regina's memories and replaced them with new ones for god-only-knows what reason."

"What? But that's impossible", Snow breathed out softly. Emma took Snow's hands in both of hers.

"There's more", Emma gave her mother's hands a squeeze. "She had to have messed with your mind too." Snow's face contorted as she remembered Daniel dying in front of her, denial gracing her further by the moment as she shook her head.

"No. Emma, that's not possible. You're wrong. The dark has messed with your mind, you..-" Emma pulled away from her mother, cutting her off, hurt at her disbelief.

"Look. I know that what I remember is the truth. Me and Regina, we.." Emma huffed. She didn't need to explain herself, and in any case she didn't have the time. "I'm going to go get a few things. Stay with Regina while I'm gone." Snow wasn't given the chance to speak again as Emma turned and stomped from the room, her frustrations and fears needing to be walked rather than poofed away. A plan was brewing in her mind, one that might just save her life.


End file.
